”What did you say your name is again?” I asked, trying to steady my footing. The innocence and beauty of the girl standing before me is underscribable and I will not even attempt to.
“Hauwa sir” she replied. “My mother sent me to ask you if you’l nee water for your bath so I can fetch from the public tap” she added in impeccable English. Prior to coming to Gamawa, the impression we corpers had was that the girls in the villages where both illetrates and totally unapproachable due to their strict parents especially fathers. However, we had seen a glimpse of how beautiful the girls could be but not one of us had ever thought of beings friends with any talkless of getting married to one as most of us were of the chritian faith and not even northerners. We had been told that the last two were prerequisites to getting married to a girl from these regions. Their fathers were either alfas or at least strong muslims and so were very strict with who and who their girls mix with. So it was a big surprise that Hauwa was standing in front of my door that morning and not just that, she was very beautiful too.
“Erm, no I don’t need any water thank you. erm, yes, I think I do need water..”, I fidgetted. What was wrong with me. How could I, a whole graduate from one of the prestigious Higher institutions in Nigeria be fidgetting before a small girl who probably was not even through with secondary school talkless of getting ahigher education. Totally unheard of especially considering that I will be resuming as a mathematics teacher in the only senior secondary school in the village. Nah, that’s totally unbecoming of a secondary school teacher!
“Take the bucket from the backyard and fetch me two buckets” I said with an authoritative voice, ”and say thank you to your mother. ” I added with good measure.
”Ok sir, I will” she said innocently and scampered away…”come back here” I called out before she ran out of sight, ”how old are you?” I asked feeling the stupidity of my question before I had the chance to withdraw them and hoping noone else heard.
”18 sir, I am 18 years old” as she stared at the ground as she said it making me a bit more guilty for asking her that question. ”ok, you can go”. I watched as she went around the house and then emmerged with the bucket I had placed there just the day before when I was contemplating going to fetch water the previous day and had decided against it after noticing the skies had turned grey like it was going to rain cats and dogs. It never rained. She walked graciously away on the path to the public tap, the closest of the three that were in the village. The principal of the school I was going to resume at had told us that an NGO had built those taps for them just a few years back, prior to that they had to go to the nearby village to fetch water.
I went and laid down on my bed and stared at the tiles of asbestos that represented my roof with noticeable cracks here and there. I wondered for a few seconds what would happen to me when the rains start pouring and I quickly made a mental note of making a report to the principal come monday. Then back to Hauwa.
I did not think I had a chance with her. There were just too many obstacles. We obviously belonged to two different religion and regions of the country. What would my family back home say if I suddenly showed with a girl from the North and introduced her as my wife to be, there will be mayhem! But that mayhem is incomparable to the one that would happen right here in Bauchi should there be anything between this christian from the south and a daughter of one of the islamic clerics. That mayhem was something I didn’t dare to think about.
All the thoughts were to disappear on monday, the first day of the new school term. I had been assigned to teach Physcis and Mathematics in the senior secondary school classes and I didn’t need more than two seconds in my first class to realise that Hauwa was one of my students. She was sitting right at the far corner and even though there were over seventy students in class all wearing the same colour combinations, it was impossible to miss that smile.
‘Good morning sir, we are happy to see you sir, God bless you sir’. The greeting by students followed what sounded like a rhythmic knock on the table made by someone who I later realise was the class captain. After the brief introduction and formalities, I tried doing an introduction to the course as required but I couldn’t take my mind off the damsel that was sitting on my far left. She was just impossible to ignore. I knew at that time that I had to take a step! After lectures, I asked Hauwa and the class captain to see me in my office.
At exactly lunch period, they both showed up as I asked them to. I had chosen that time specifically because most of the teachers would have gone to the teacher’s cafe jst near the school for lunch. It was a good time to lay down and execute my plans. I admit I didn’t think it through. Maybe if I had, I woouldn’t have taken that step or maybe even discussed it with friends and listened to counsel. However, at 1pm on that monday morning, it seemed to me as the best thing to do!
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Comments
Ayo @boringblogger
The username says it all. I can be the most boring person in the world. Only good thing is, I love writing except again, I am also very lazy so I don't do much writing.
What I do well though is listen and analyze situations. However, Im sure many people do this well too so I guess there's nothing exceptional about that. Just thought Ild mention it.
I love books except that the kind of books I love are not the kind NS members would like to hear about. Except you are a geek, Im not sure talking about probability, neural network, artificial intelligence will excite you. If it does, then you need to check yourself. Sadly, things like that excite me and I spend most of my time, looking for solutions in that realm.
When it comes to fiction, I love anything from the stables of Stephen King. To me, that is the most gifted writer in the world. Sadly, I only love reading his books, Im not sure I can replicate his style though.
If you have read up all Ive written above up till this stage, erm....kudos. I must apologise for taking 20 seconds of you time. I will like Oliver, ask that you give me more of your time by reading my stories and if you think they are boring, please do let me know!Go to Ayo's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
My head is wondering and wandering,first I find ur bio very hilarious,I’m a geek and you’re not boring,then could you pls quickly complete this story?I’m hooked.
Ah! thanks..first trust me, I am boring..lol..since ure also a geek, then surely u know what its like.
Im glad you are hooked on the story, I honestly did not think it would attract any interest, I did not even think it would be published. Thanks and thanks to NS too!
For the fact that you love Stephen King, i love you, lol.
Funny thing, what i hate most about writing is the process of writing (i’m also lazy and an ace in procastinating) but thankfully, i’m incredibly focused and i’ve learned that ‘successful people are people who do what unsuccessful people should have done’ so i pound my body into submission and discipline myself to write everyday (even if its gibberish)
Now to your story – beautiful! I love the calm pace you are telling it and the way you left me wondering ‘what, how’.
You should try to write more often, you are very good.
Thanks Lade. Good to see another Stephen King fan! Much love!
And thanks for +ve words. Since I joined N.S, I’ve learnt so much already reading other people’s works.
I’l definitely try to write more, ‘even if it’s gibberish’.
He he he… Your bio’s funny though sadly with a touch of inferiority complex which contrasts with your good writing skills. And who says you’re boring? I dey wait for Season2 o! *winks*
I totally agree agree with the complex part. I was just saying same to myself this morning!
I’m good in what I do (my career is more in the engineering/IT direction) but when it comes to writing, I think I don’t believe enough in myself. I’ve been doing this particular story on my blog since 2009 and it took constant pressures from friends who loved it for me to complete it, more than a year after. That’s how bad it is. A friend suggested I joined N.S and its been a great experience so far in terms of reading and learning.
Thanks!
From your bio, I think you are measuring yourself by stereotypical parameters, which I don’t find a very good thing.You say you are good at what you do,that is better.
To the story: It was well told and I like the theme you are trying to explore.That being said,I feeL there are some areas that you could show,rather than tell us.An example is when Hauwa walked across the path to fetch water.You could show us how she walked.Did she sway her hip in a sensuous way?Did she move her body in a certain manner? Did this movement incite a certain feeling in the MC?
I hope you get the drift of what I’m saying?
Well done!!!
Thanks for the comments and advice, really helpful. Points taken.
Hey, I loved this story (don’t understand why you call yourself boring blogger). But I did notice some spelling errors/typos (eg underscribable), and itowards the end you wrote 1pm in the morning.
Awaiting part 2.
Loads of apologies for those errors. I will try and take more time with future submissions to avoid such. Hope I’m forgiven?
Thanks for the complements. Part 2 is still ‘Pending’.
it was nice, but there was a little problem with the tenses at the beginning.
Ditto Adeyinka… and yeah the story could do well with some editing. I see you show ample potential as a good writer. In this particular story however, I don’t know why I feel that you didn’t really help us enough with seeing/understanding the MC’s feelings, was he lusting to sleep with the girl? did he fall in love with her? did he think she was trying to get his attention? why would he immediately start thinking of marrying her? etc. You know something always has to lead to something in a story, we are not supposed to assume the guys feelings automatically simply because she asked to fetch him water. I hope you understand.
Thanks Adeyinka, noted. Working on it.
Akindele, in my head I guess it was just pure lost but I failed to put it down in writing. Part of the reason I’m here – to learn. Thanks.
To All,
Thanks for all the comments. Just to say that writing for me is a hobby and something I love doing basically because I have a restless mind and maybe highly imaginative one at that. However, over the years my writings have been limited to school essays, debates and more recently, blogs and reviews were mainly by friends which obviously centred around the story and not technical issues.
By joining NS, I hope to get more feedback on these technical short comings of mine (and I’ve received loads already, thanks!) to help improve. I am not looking to do a book or something (but then who knows?) I am just a believer that whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well.
So thanks for all the comments, please keep them coming!
You’ll do very well brother, we all get better everyday just like that too.
Thanks, God bless you
We have something in common(laziness), I have a lot of story ideas in my head but putting them down is the big problem.
I Hope the next part surfaces pretty soon.
I submitted the second part days ago and its been pending since then. Maybe I’ve done something wrong?
As for laziness, yeeah, its a big problem. But I get motivated when people comment (positive or not) as it propells me to write more. So Il suggest you look for something to motivate you and it will overcome any form of laziness. Hope it helps.
BoringBlogger,
Your story should be published in the next few days.
Admin
well,i dont think you are boring, dunno why you used that because your profile alone is funny.
well,nice story,and suspenseful,pleassse hurry up and lets know what happens next!
@posh….Thanks. You the next one is up already.
Since everyone’s like your bio, love them too. Since everyone is lazy, well kinda lazy too. Since everyone lover King, well… I don’t rightly know. To your story, somehow the story is anything but boring. Really enjoying it. So will ditto @gretel.
Typos again like @uche mentioned.
Thanks..I take more time now with stories so as to reduce typos, please forgive me. Really working on them.
As for your first comment, don’t patronise me
Glad to see you are enjoying the series.