My mother started appreciating me again after I started sending money home. She began to respect me and seek my opinion on various issues. We stopped depending on my father’ s people to cater for our needs. I put my sister back in the school I finished from and I opened a small store for my mum where she sold provisions amongst other things. Initially my mum was curious about how I was getting the money I had. She calmed down when she saw a few of the clothes I designed for some clients in Nigeria that I asked my sister to help me deliver.
For once things were working out for my family, and I was happy about that. I heard my mum laugh along with me again after a long while, when I told her about a certain guy I met at the train station on my way home from campus one evening. I might have liked him still if he had not spoken at all. He was dark skinned, handsome and quite macho too. He walked up to me and said, “Excuse me miss, have we met before, cos you look quite ‘ similar’?” I did well to hold my laughter by pretending not to hear him, and I replied, “I beg your pardon”, I had hoped that it was a mistake and he had realised it, but he went again, “I said you look quite ‘ similar’ , have we met before?” “No, I don’ t think so”, I replied and then walked away very quickly. My mum just kept laughing and I knew for sure that all was well between us.
But all wasn’ t well with me and myself. I dated a few guys after Tony, but none proved worthy. The white guys I dated just wanted to score a black chick and the black guys just needed company till they returned home to marry a virgin from their village. I am tired of being sick and tired. I know what I want and I know that I had it once in my arms, but I gave it all away for next to nothing. Once I had silver in my possession, but I let it slip because I sought gold.
My brother said to me once, “What is worth the price is always worth the fight.” Seun made me understand this advice fully. She saw the deal in Tony and she wanted to have him by all means, because he was worth it. I didn’ t recognise this initially and now I’ m paying for it in full measure. But for how long?
How much must one endure before it becomes enough? This is the question I’ ve been asking myself of recent. Last night I picked up the phone and I called Tony, “Hello” said the voice from the other end. It was Tony. Damn! I missed that voice. I was just too overwhelmed to respond, my tongue clove to the upper part of my mouth and I froze where I stood. I remained in that position even after he had hung up when I didn’ t respond. I knew immediately that I needed to get him back and I was going to do that at all cost.
Thanks to Seun and my selfish heart, I am now in final year of studying business administration at the Imperial College here in London. In a few weeks I would be done and I would return home. I am more equipped now to fight for what rightfully belongs to me. I am coming and Seun had better prepare.