A Fake Feel Of The Yuletide

A Fake Feel Of The Yuletide

Early morning harmattan has come and with it an overwhelming dryness, which gnaws at the sides of the eyes and attempts to solidify the eye wax.  This dryness also rests on the lips and makes them unattractive.  This means that Vaseline sellers would soon make money this season.  Wipe off your tears, everyone, before the dryness rests there, too.  Even though the sun comes in and takes away that overwhelming dryness, it never brings with it a wetness.  Already, a coldness has come and stayed. Harmattan don take style enter man pikin pocket, and e get wan time wey ‘harmattan’ reach filling stations sef.  Remember d queues wey nearly cover roads.  I fear next year January, o!

When the yuletide comes in full swing, you will see young girls, out of everlastingly innermost starvation, throw away what is meant to be precious to them to cling to so-called “moneybags”, young or old.  You will see people missing, especially these young girls, for ritualists have sprung up and turned these girls into “innocent victims”.  You will hear of aircraft crashes due to the “caskets” plying the air.  You will hear of road accidents due to the “caskets” plying the road.  You may probably assume that the same thing would happen in the waters, too.  You will also see the reckless and helpless spending of money by those young and old moneybags, most of whom came back from foreign lands for visits with the sole intent of displaying their ill-gotten wealth.  Dem no go feel d harmattan dat much sha. You will see friends and family visiting each other in their best apparels in order to eat “Christmas” and “New Year” food.  You will hear bangers and knockouts and flares of all shapes and sizes blasting here and there without ever catching those mischievous culprits.  The singular excuse for all the events mentioned is that Jesus Christ is born.  In remembrance, all and sundry will rush to church in religious piety for fear of the world coming to a miraculous end at the very last day of the year.

The singing of Christmas songs, the spread of seasonal greetings through handsets and “courtesy visits”, the “air” of celebration and so on has been on and on millions of yuletides ago.  The sheer chronic monotony of it has shrivelled into redundancy.  The different economic and political situations in the country worsen day by day and remain unsolved.  As usual, some people are unaware of the gross financial aridity that would befall them when they enter the month of January.  A Chinese proverb says: Cheat me once, shame on you.  Cheat me twice, shame on me.

St. Paul says that too much of anything is bad.  As dryness gnaws at the face during the early harmattan morning, so will financial aridity gnaw at people when January of any year comes, except for those who spend wisely and save wisely.  Those in true financial aridity caused by their own foolishness would open their mouths agape and depend on God dey.

I am so sure that politicians will use this yuletide period to display ill-wealth and rehearsed manifestoes, and attempt all possibilities to recover that money around the months of February and March 2011 before the elections begin in April.

There is a saying that if you can’t beat them, you join them.  I guess I have to participate in the fake feel of this forthcoming yuletide if I am to survive this ordeal, never knowing how future yuletides would look like.



7 thoughts on “A Fake Feel Of The Yuletide” by Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

  1. Liked the musing. Message was clear. Short, simple and, sexy, not really. This period works for me oh. Just that somehow, this year, church hymns were a little boring on Xmas day. Enjoyed reading and it’s funny we have different issues with this season. Mastress, *winks*.

  2. Wonderful piece! Beautifully touches on both the good and bad aspects of our celebration of Xmas. Yes o! Xmas! Bcos our people, and indeed the whole world, don remove Christ use “X” replace am. And talking about Nigeria, I see revooolutionary change coming in 2011. Anyway sweetie, I like that King Koboko’s debut (“Our Disemba”) on this site vibes with Queen Nuella’s last for the year. He he he… http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/koboko

  3. How right you are, Emmanuella. Harmattan is gnawing seriously on my pocket, the effect of the yuletide. Poor me!

  4. you got it all right except the fact that you never expected BOMBS to explode..big up to you.

    1. Yep, ‘brainy poet’, how so right you are! When I ‘mused’ this, no bombs were exploding. But now, I can add that as an addendum. Thanks, my brother! :)

  5. Gals and guys, here is another addendum to my yuletide musing, something I feel the first paragraph of this piece should have, plus a small correction:

    (1) Correction: “This means that Vaseline [baby jelly body lotion or just ordinary Vaseline body jelly] sellers would soon make money this season.”

    (2) Addendum: “I was busy mentioning what the harmattan does to the eyes that I almost forgot what it does to the nose, which is far worse. The dust in the air is thicker now and mixes with the necessary bacteria that the air normally carries around, only that dust and bacteria are like oil and water – they don’t mix, except when ‘boiled’. Anyway, I stand to be corrected on that one. The airway through the nose is semi-blocked of which one nostril ‘runs’ or ‘leaks’ (wikileaks?) like a broken tap due to lack of air passage and the other is exposed, necessarily unprotected. Because of this, sleep is a battle; a sound sleep is elusive. One has to be spitting out minute after minute like a pregnant woman in order to breathe. Kai, the dust inhaled must have been THICK as it rests on the salivary gland! It makes one feel like there is a tumour on the throat.”

  6. reading this stuff again emmanuella, i think i got one or two ideas, unique, thanks…its a lecture note, this ur piece

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