I swear, this week is steady trying to take the cake for one of the most drama-filled weeks I have had this year.
I finally had the dreaded confrontation with Paddy.
The funniest thing? When I first saw him, I initially didn’t remember that I was supposed to be mad at him. And just in case you can’t remember why–Mr. Fresh planted his lips on mine without letting me know he had a missus out there somewhere around. Yes, how sordid! Sue me.
Anyway, I was walking back from the library and I heard someone call out my name.
No prizes for guessing who.
So I stopped and made eye contact as his car slid up. God knows what he was doing on campus yet again.
The corners of my lips began to rise in a smile when my brain reversed the short-circuit and screamed out silently ‘LARA, THAT IS THE ENEMY”
So I looked away quickly and walked on ahead, redoubling my steps.
Then my phone started ringing, and it was an unknown number. I mean, how was I to know that this dude not only has in his possession my apartment number but my bloody phone number as well! So, call me stupid but I picked up the call.
“Yo!” goes stranger-on-the-phone.
“Who’s this?” goes stupid-little-girl-in-cohorts-with-the-enemy.
“You are kidding me! I know you saw me!”
“Who is this, please?” Yes, my brain hadn’t yet sorted this one out by this time. They do not call me the black-haired blonde for nothing.
“Come on, please! You saw me yelling out your name a few seconds ago and walked on like I was some ghost you weren’t supposed to see.”
I dropped the phone.
For some reason, that tickled me and I had this evil smile I borrowed from the devil on my lips as I marched on to my apartment.
Thirty minutes later, knock on door.
Why, who could it be…?
I stood at the door, my brain scrambling to understand why the world was giving it such a headache today.
“You are not going to let me in?” he said.
Ugh, the way he cocked his right eyebrow was so sexy.
“What are you doing here?” I injected some affected incredulousness into my voice.
He mimicked me and repeated what I just said so I foolishly tried to close the door against what has to be more than double my muscular weight in pounds.
Of course the attempt failed.
And of course, he was looking at me now like I had some screws loose.
“Can you just leave, please?” I asked.
“Damn, I mean, I don’t consider myself the world’s greatest kisser but surely, I wasn’t that bad?!” he grinned.
OH. MY. GOD.
Who was this boy?! No remorse whatsoever. Nothing.
“Huh?” I stared at him, trying to decide if it was the time to show how affronted I was. Well, given that I hadn’t slammed the door in his smirking face yet, I don’t think I was affronted that much…yet.
“Oh, you don’t even remember it? I’ve been thinking about it all weekend and the better part of this week.” He went on shamelessly.
Yes, he was clearly okay with having this conversation in my hallway corridor.
“You are very stupid,” was all I could manage. Yes, pathetic and weak. Very much so.
His laugh reinforced that fact. I was having a hard time staying oriented.
“Can I come in now, or are we going to have the rest of our conversation this way?”
“What conversation? I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“Okay, in ‘girl-talk’, that must mean I have pissed you off. Care to enlighten me?”
“No, just leave!”
“The hell?! Did someone tell you I had AIDS or something?”
It was clear that oju o ti okunrin yii and I was not about to make myself fodder for hallway gossip so I let him in.
He made himself very comfortable while I stood, staring at him with my hands crossed over my chest.
“Relax. Do you have anything to drink?” he grinned.
“No! What on earth do you want?” I shouted.
I know this shit only happens in movies and I swear I am not making this up but this boy reached out, grabbed my hands and pulled me over…and get this…HE KISSED ME!!!!! AGAIN.
And I want to testify to you today that if any kiss can get close to the feeling of literally being burnt by a flame, it is a kiss from Paddy, I swear!
I, like, literally lost my senses, my bearings…you name it, I lost it all!
By the time we came up for air, my lips were bruised, my hair was out of its carefully packed ponytail, my shirt was hanging open, and what lay beneath was bare for the world to see… on the fucking living room couch for chrissakes!
I was thinking it, but HE said it. Damn was right.
“You can’t pretend to forget that this time around,” he laughed and I know it was his feeble attempt at lightening the air but all of a sudden, I was so irritated at myself and at him.
“Please, can you leave now?” I said silently, not looking up at him as I put my shirt back together.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked uncertainly.
I got a FUCKING case of bloody VERBAL DIARRHOEA and you won’t believe what came out of my mouth… “You have a girlfriend, is what is wrong with me, Paddy whatever your last name is!”
Earth, please swallow me NOW. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE.
No such luck.
“My last name is Dina,” he said quietly.
Man, who cared anymore? He needed to leave and let me drown my shame with my tub of chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream in the fridge.
“And I am sorry about the confusion with the girlfriend,” he continued “I just… thought you knew. I thought I told you.”
Shit. Insult. The icing on the injurious cake.
Oh, well. I blamed myself. As I was feeling like Carolina Santa Amore in some limited edition of a Mills & Boon series when he pulled me over to the couch and kissed me so that I felt like I was on fire, etc. Now, I felt colder than the tip of Mount Everest.
“Yeah, can you leave now?” I said. Never mind I was repeating myself. Broken record and what not. I spotted my ponytail holder on the floor and attempted to put my hair in order.
I finally looked at him then. It was the first time I had heard my name from his mouth and it sounded…different.
“I didn’t mean to offend you. I just…”
I cut him short, “You already did. Care to go now?”
“Alright.” He sighed, grabbed up his keys and began to head out.
“Paddy, do me a favor,” I called out as he opened the door.
He looked at me.
“Don’t come back.”
And you know, I am not sure why I cried in my bed afterwards, but…I did.
I must have lost my mind
I can’t believe you’re still inside my bed
I nearly walked away
I didn’t think we’d still be rolling’