Kill Cruise

Kill Cruise

Emeka’s hands trembled on the steering as the Toyota Corolla sped along the tacky tar of the third mainland bridge at a brutal speed. He swerved to the left and right, overtaking vehicles in the way, conjuring curses and angry blare of horns from other drivers startled by his diabolic cruising. He prayed hard not to meet up with any hold-up on the road.

Seyi, his girlfriend, was seated next to him in the front passenger seat shifting anxiously on her seat, whimpering and shaking her hands hysterically – the manner in which she’d shake them when she was in deep trouble.

In the back seat sat George, his friend and Amara, his girlfriend. George was frantically throwing all manner of suggestions at Emeka on what they could do to get themselves out of the mess. He was trying hard to play brave but his demeanor showed he was failing at it. Amara, just fretted about in fear beside him, looking up and down the car as if she might locate some way out while at the same time condemning herself for joining them on this ill-fated trip.

Emeka felt his palms becoming sweaty despite the cool air wafting through the air conditioner vents. His palms always sweated anytime he got nervous. He cursed and tried to wipe one hand on his jeans. The car misaligned and swerved dangerously; his passengers screamed and he quickly grabbed the steering again. At the speed he was going, both hands needed to stay firmly on the wheel. He swallowed hard and fought with the confusion in his mind as he tried to calm himself and think a way out of this dilemma. His confidence was ebbing out with every passing minute.

How the hell had they gotten themselves into this mess?

*****************

His uncle was stinking rich; a politician who had garnered wealth by questionable means as a senator. The man knew how spoil people, and Emeka was not an exception, especially when he happened to be one of his favorite nephews.

Senator had a big garage which housed 15 cars of different makes and he gave Emeka the license to cruise anyone he felt like out of 6 of them. The other 9 were no go areas.

That did not deter Emeka. The 5 he was allowed to touch were good enough – a  2007 Nissan Maxima, a 2008 Honda Accord, a 2007 Skoda Octavia, a Peugeot 307, a Toyota Yaris and 2009 Toyota Corolla.

He loved cruising the Maxima and Accord but had wanted a change of ride. That’s how he went for the Toyota.

He had arranged a date with his Seyi, his latest catch. When you look good and spend good money and ride good cars on campus, becoming a ‘chick magnet’ was inevitable. His adventures with the wheels bore testimonies to this.

Obiora fell flat for him, thanks to the Octavia and a treat to choice restaurants.

Hauwa cooed obsessively after him, thanks to the Accord and a party outing.

Gbemi, Tara and Nkem had fought each other to have him, thanks to the Maxima and a trip to shopping malls and a renown swimming resort.

Seyi was the next on line now and the Corolla was his joker for the gameplay. His close buddy, George came along with Amara, his own catch; the dividends of being what students on campus called a ‘scrub’ – a guy who thrives on the wealth display of his rich buddy to get with the ladies.

They had taken off from the Victoria Island residence of the Senator whom Emeka was staying with and were headed for a party on the mainland.

Emeka loved to display his driving prowess and had pedaled the car to the speed of 90 kmph, while darting in between cars he overtook. The girls chattered about his skills – more of sycophantic flattery than admirable compliment. Besides that, they were enjoying the thrill of the ride.

It was when Emeka decided to slow down that he discovered that the car refused to do so. Each time he tried to apply the brake it gave a harsh grinding sound almost sending the car into a dangerous skid. He tapped the accelerator a bit hoping it would disengage from whatever got it hooked but that pushed the speed up the more and the dial climbed dangerously to 100 kmph.

Normally one’s life would have flashed before him on noticing such impending doom but the images that rattled through Emeka’s mind was that of what he had seen on the news a few weeks back – the recall by Toyota of some of its models which had developed accelerating speed problems in different countries. These faulty models as a result were dubbed ‘Runaway Toyotas’ by some international news stations. Emeka had myopically thought it could only happen to the white man unfortunately this fateful outing was proving him wrong.

‘Mekus, easy on the speed, abi you wan fly?’

Emeka looked through the rearview mirror at George who was getting a little shifty about the gathering speed. He said nothing but shook his head rapidly as he quickly took his eyes off the mirror and swerved the car in between a pick-up and a taxi and shot out in front of them all in bid not to keep any car that might slow down ahead of him.

‘Guys…I think we’re screwed oh…this car is mescaforming…’ He eventually managed to let out with as much confidence as he could muster.

‘Eh, stop the car now, make we find mechanic fix am,’ said Seyi snapping on the bubblegum she was chewing.

‘Yeah…if only we could stop the car first.’ It sounded like a joke but the tremor in Emeka’s voice sent signals of the seriousness of the situation.

‘What do you mean if we can stop the car?’

‘Mekus if na Joke stop am oh!’

‘Shebi the car get brake!’

‘Is this one of your tripping tricks?’

Fusillades of queries hit Emeka from different angles which did nothing but further deteriorate his confidence. He sighed heavily and recounted the news of the runaway Toyotas to them.

That alone was enough to reduce everyone to a chicken version of their confident selves; the girls panicking and becrying their woe, George offering stupid suggestions which he couldn’t be blamed for; he was so scared shitless he was just talking without thinking.

By now they were speeding towards the former Lagos-Ibadan expressway toll gate. The car swerved to and fro as Emeka dodged dangerous potholes in the road. Fortunately for them the traffic was light and not many cars were on the road. But for how long would they be that fortunate?

‘Oh crap!’ Emeka suddenly snapped between his teeth.

‘What?’ George asked fearing the worst.

‘We’re approaching a police checkpoint!’



38 thoughts on “Kill Cruise” by Afronuts (@Afronuts)

  1. Awesome story u’ve got here, got my heart racing almost at the same speed of Emeka’s Toyota.

    Correct a few typos here and there and it will be just perfect. Then again, you said he was allowed to ride 6 out of 15 cars, leaving the other 9 untouchable, how come in the very next paragraph he was allowed to ride 5 instead of 6 ???

    1. lol…thanks. I noticed the typos but it got published before I could change it. And you’re right – its 6 and not 5 cars. Error noted.

  2. Really good stuff. A clearer description would have made the story more bum bum bum. Hope it ends well though. So is it going to have a second part?

    1. Thanks. I guess i wanted the ‘speedy’ nature of the story to match with the writing thats why I didnt do too much detail description here. Also, if I get too much into it, the story would become too long because I really get down to describing things…

      1. Oh…and it does have a second part

  3. HOW E NO GO GET SECOND PART…????
    IGBATI AFRONUT KO FE FI IRUN GBON SE AFRO????

    INSANE!!!!

    1. Shuu!! Bros I hope say u no vex sha?

  4. Nice…Though could have been better….Waiting for the next….

    1. yeah i know…could have been better. I actually wrote this cause the idea just clung to my head and i didnt want it to fly away.

  5. OMG!
    you got my heart pumping real fast.
    i just hope blood wouldnt spill o

    1. lol…keep your heart rate in sync!

  6. LOL!!!! LMHO!!!! ROFLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. lol…yeti what’s funny?

  7. woww,nice tale,reminds me of one of Gbenga’s stories,few typos and also noticed what scope said but good work,missed you,where you been afrosage?

    1. lol…been sorta busy gretel hon. How have u been? Glad to hear from you. And I’m curious…who’s Gbenga?

  8. Yay, it has a second part!! Can’t wait to read that. I guess the others have mentioned the few issues with the story, so I won’t.

    I really enjoyed reading this. Good job, Afro.

    1. Thanks Uche. I know I’ll always wow you anyday..lol.
      I took note of the errors. Thanks

  9. I love the idea of the story – an out-of-control car which the driver is desperately trying to slow down. Reminds me of the kind of action movie where a disastrous event has to be stopped – I think the latest of the genre is ‘Unstoppable’, about a runaway train. I do wonder that they’ve managed to avoid an accident on the traffic congested roads in Lagos, though. It’ll be interesting to see what happens at the checkpoint.

    Two points:

    – I don’t feel I care enough about the characters to hope that they survive. Maybe I might have felt differently if they had been using the car for ‘serious’ business, like getting to work or seeing a business customer, and what happened to them had been completely unavoidable (after all, you need to go to work, but you don’t have to cruise around town. But this is just a personal opinion; it has no reflection on your story.

    – Some of the words felt a bit ‘off’, like ‘locate’ in “Amara, just fretted about in fear beside him, looking up and down the car as if she might locate some way out” or ‘misaligned’ in “The car misaligned and swerved dangerously”. I’m not sure what the ‘locate’ means, and I’d leave out the ‘misaligned’ altogether.

    But as I said before, great job.

    1. Good points of note Tola. I understand your thot about the use of ‘misaligned’. I guess I got carried away with that word use. But I still feel okay about the ‘locate’ part.

      Its an edited first draft anyway

  10. I’ll be back to comment when I can find breath. My heart still races.
    Good suspense.

    1. dont have a heart attack abeg oh.

  11. @ Tola,is there a crime in cruising?it shouldn’t be work at all times and btw,it’s his car,he can do whatever he wishes.

    1. Good point gretel.
      I guess Tola got carried away by opinionated theme issue

    2. @Gretel, of course there’s nothing wrong in someone cruising with their car.

      But like I said, it’s just my opinion, and nothing to do with the story.

  12. This is good Afronuts.TolaO and scopeman have said enough already.

    Waiting for the second part!

    1. Thanks Opeyemi. Got the inspiration from a true life event and a news report

  13. very nice story
    waiting for the next.

  14. My heart was thumping throughout. Runaway car . . . .

    1. same thing i told dammy goes for you!

  15. It ended on a cliff hanger like an episode from one of my favourite tv series ’24’…Well done!

    1. Believe it or not but I’ve never settled dwon to watch that series!

      1. You have no idea what you are missing…lol (And that might actually be a good thing, because once you start, stopping becomes a problem, like ur out of control cruiser)

  16. Nice write Afronuts; just didn’t quite work for me.
    Doesn’t feel like your best. You’ve done better.
    Hope the concluding(?) or next part comes soon.

  17. welll…???… can be better.

  18. fantabulous

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