Should I be thankful to Seun for giving me this new life or should I hate her for taking Tony away from me? I may never find an answer to this question. I like my life right now. Why not? I am studying business administration in one of the most prestigious schools on earth. I earn much more than what many graduates in Nigeria earn, even as an undergraduate. What can I say, my life is just sweet.
But that’s all that it is- just sweet. Perhaps it could’ve been more, maybe it still can, my God I want it to be more. Surely, I like the parties, the clubs, the girls night-outs, the shopping and all the other things that come with my status now. But I want much more. Maybe I don’t deserve it, may be I do, but it doesn’t cost anything to desire it.
Like hell I miss Tony. So many times I’ve thought of picking up the phone to call him, I still have his number on speed dial even though he’s changed his number twice. I’ve been keeping an eye or two on him since I left. I always never have enough courage to call him. What would I say?
He probably thinks I’m dead. Maybe I am, the way I feel right now I probably am dead. It was cruel the way I left him. He didn’t deserve to be treated that way. He was a great guy, nice, caring and always very sweet. He never forgot my birthday nor anyone else’s in my family. He took me out on weekends and took me shopping severally. He even bought me my first laptop. I remember very vividly. It was valentine’s day and I was feeling very unlike myself, getting all cranky and touchy. He sent me his usual rise and shine text message by 7 a.m, ending it with words I knew he meant, ‘I love you’. I didn’t reply. He called me a few hours later and I didn’t spare him from my misdemeanor. I so wanted to be mad with him even when he did nothing wrong. I guess I disliked the fact that he was such a great guy. I wanted him to err a little, he didn’t have to be so perfect.
That evening, after I had turned down his invitation to dinner, a parcel came in for me. I knew immediately it was from him, but I wasn’t expecting it. ‘A parcel for Miss Maggie’, I heard the mail man’s voice from the living room where I was seated watching my favourite TV program. I had calmed down by then, so I received the parcel from my younger sister. ‘Here, this just came in for you’, she said.
‘Thanks dear’, I replied.
‘It’s quite heavy, she continued, ‘What’s inside?’
‘I don’t know’.
‘It’s from Tony right?’
‘Yes, I think so’.
‘Well then, go ahead, open it’. I tore at the beautiful paper wrap that covered a big rectangular box. ‘It’s a laptop!’ I exclaimed with much joy. My phone rang before I was even done unpacking the content of the parcel. It was Tony. ‘I hope you like it’, he said.
‘Yes I do. I love it and I love you too. Thank you’.
That was three years ago. I have changed laptop twice since then, but I still remember how I cherished the one he got for me then. It really meant a lot to me then.
I’ve been away for two years now and I have had enough time to consider many things. My choices and my actions most especially. I now see that it was all my fault. I am not talking about taking Seun’s offer, no, I’m talking about the day she came into our lives and tore us apart.