When The One You Love Is With Another

When The One You Love Is With Another

What would you do when the one you love is with another? A number of possible actions come to mind. If you are a guy, you could decide to walk up to that girl who has stolen your heart and let her know upfront that you love her and want her badly. The thought reminds me of a song by Nigerian singer, African China where he says: ‘if you love somebody, walk up to her and tell her you love her because it’s no crime’. While I would not disagree with the ghetto-bred-but-now-international-music-icon (oh yes, the dude’s International now), I would clearly state that approaching a girl you feel romantically attached to is no easy feat, especially if you are genuinely interested in her. It takes guts and a never-say-die attitude, especially when you consider the risks involved. For crying out loud, every man has his pride and having that pride rubbished by a woman is usually a hard pill to swallow. However, this is a risk that must be taken once you decide to express your feelings to a girl whom you know is already involved with someone else. It is even worse when you and the girl have a good rapport and you know she and her boyfriend are in a rather serious relationship.

You have been folding your arms and watching from the sidelines as the girl you love gets caressed and fondled by another guy much to her delight. Oh, how that hurts! However, you sigh in pain and roll with the punches. You continually resist the feeling of jealousy that stems up in you every time and it has practically become a fierce battle you have to face all the time – a battle that gets worse by the day. Jealousy in itself is a crushing feeling that leaves one exhausted and ravaged and you gradually get to a point when you feel you cannot stand and watch anymore. So what do you do? I suggest two options:

–          Taking the plunge

–          Removing the hindrance.

–          TAKING THE PLUNGE – This would happen especially when you have reached the limit of your resistance. You simply walk up to the girl and let her know how you feel. However, you should bear in mind that you would be taking a big risk that could indeed see you losing the girl for good or on the other hand, winning her for yourself. The following could happen if you decide to take the plunge.

  1. The girl could simply ignore you and assume you’ve had too much to drink. If she is a nice person who actually fancies you, she might remain friends with you but trust me, things would never be the same again and of course, you would have lost the chance of ever having her, probably forever.  Sad, right? Yes I know but it’s a risk that must be taken.
  2. If she hardly gives a hoot about you, she could right away heap a good load of verbal invectives on you and warn you never to come an inch closer ever again. Of course, this would be very embarrassing and worse still, you would have lost her friendship and the chance to ever have her, forever! (No probabilities!).
  3. If she’s the nice and understanding type, she could listen to you and let you understand the situation of things, probably about how much she loves her boyfriend and ‘likes’ you but she would of course tell you she cannot be involved with you. The usual consolation such nice girls give in this situation is, “we can be friends.” Now, that would have gone rather well but trust me, it would only leave you feeling all the more drawn towards her and possibly lead you to further depression and desperation. I don’t think that solves your problem at all.

These are a few risks associated with ‘Taking the Plunge’ that I can muster at the moment. But then, who knows? You just might get lucky and have your gamble pay off. Perhaps, the girl has probably always fancied you as well and had been waiting for your move all the while. Perhaps all the obtrusive love play that you had seen with her and her boyfriend had only been an act to cover up the bitterness and pain within their relationship. You might just have your dreams realized then and you would be glad you had taken the plunge.

–          REMOVING THE HINDRANCE – I see this as the coward’s way out. This is a move that would be borne by a good deal of study and research on the relationship between this girl of your dreams and her boyfriend. Once you come to a conclusion that theirs is a rock-steady relationship and nothing seems likely to break it, you might do well to bow out as it just might be foolhardy for you to ‘take the plunge’. In the event where you cannot afford to bow out, it might be worth it trying to ‘remove the hindrance’. You might be curious as to what I mean by this.

It is evident that your ‘Beyonce’ of a girl would never give you a second look as she’s heads-over-heels in love with this ‘Jay Z’ so the only logical solution would be to get Jay Z out of the picture. Now, you don’t have to kill Jay Z or you might find out Beyonce never gets over his loss and becomes celibate forever. Yes, love does such things too. What would you have gained then? Nothing! Besides, the law might catch up with you and you find yourself spending the rest of your life behind bars if you’re lucky to miss the hangman’s noose. No, don’t kill Jay Z! So what do you do? It is pretty simple. Find a way to damage the boyfriend’s reputation. There are various ways to achieve this. For instance, you could use bait, maybe some other beautiful woman to lure him. Be sure to device means whereby the girlfriend finds out while ensuring you maintain your anonymity as neatly as possible.

Once you have succeeded, you could then present your shoulder as one to be leaned on and to be cried upon. Every other thing takes off from there. Now, you might say this is callous. Yes, I know but you want the girl, right? Okay, it’s a callous act so forget about the girl and remain on the sidelines. Oh, you don’t want that. I didn’t think so. After all, a desperate problem calls for a desperate solution. In ‘removing the hindrance’, there are numerous options. It requires sheer creativity and dexterity.

I should not neglect to mention the risks associated with ‘Removing the Hindrance’ however. These also have to be put into consideration before you take this step.

  1. The girl might love her boyfriend so much that she is willing to forgive him for even the worst crime. In this case, you have got yourself a lost case and the only option is to let her go and go look for some other woman.
  2. The bait might not work. The boyfriend could be genuinely in love with the girl that nothing could make him do anything to hurt her (Yes, we have guys like that too!) and all attempts to damage his reputation may prove futile. In that case, you are bound to fail yet again in your bid.
  3. You might actually get the girl but what do you do when the wind eventually blows and you are found out? It could take a while but trust me, once you are fingered as the culprit, the resultant effect would be far from pleasant.

These and more are also some of the risks associated with ‘Removing the Hindrance’.

Getting your desired girl comes with great risks, especially when she is involved and in most cases, it usually ends up a failed mission. However, some men go ahead to take the plunge or remove the hindrance and actually do succeed. Life after all is unpredictable.

What about a girl on a quest to catch a man who is with another woman? I guess that is a story for another day.



32 thoughts on “When The One You Love Is With Another” by Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

  1. Lmao! Abeg, lets have the female side to this. Can’t wait to read how she can ‘remove the hinderance’, lol.
    Nice one, Gbenga. A very nice expose into the male mind.

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      I am not too sure I’ll be qualified to do the female version. Better still, why don’t you try doing it? I bet you got a lot of ideas on this.

  2. wowwwwww,this is so brillant and a must-read for every guy,shouuld show my bros this oh,ahum,what if the guy has a girlfriend and the girl he’s interested in knows he has a girlfriend but he likes the other girl more than his own?
    In fact,every man should go and find his own,thou shall not covert your neighbour’s wife.

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Thanks gretel. I’m sure your bros would love this. True, everyone should find their own lover but then we are all by nature insatiable.

  3. ha ha ha ha!!!! Will also love to hear the female version of this..Well done Gbenga..

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      I guess I’ll pass that responsibility to you as a female. lol.

  4. It can be a good thing to be in a situation like this. You could end up writing ‘Seeing Off Kisses’ or ‘Passing Out Kisses’. Would advice the guy to just stay around and see her as a friend. You don’t want to break up a girl and her boyfriend and end up breaking her heart too down the line. But if you really can’t just be a friend, then tell her “I think I love you but of course nothing can happen because you have a boyfriend and you are happy with him, right?”. If she says ‘yes’ or ‘right’, then go find yourself another girl. Good article. Female version, but try and get the info right.

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Hmmm, I want to agree with you but I doubt if most guys would have that kind of fortitude . . . especially when the girl gives them sleepless nights.

  5. lol! nice write up Gbenga…Its really hard to take the plunge and removing the hindrance only makes you enjoy the love you so desperately crave for a moment before the wind blows and the fowls ass is exposed…i dare you to write the female side of this…it will mean putting yourself in the shoes of a woman…getting in touch with your feminine side..hehehe…i’ll be waiting oh!

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      I take that as a challenge . . . I’ll do something about it soon. I should like to see my feminine side do some pondering. lol

  6. The only thing I’ll add is that all men should know that you can win/have everything in life,you win some and you lose some.it’s easier said than done, but that’s the way to go.very beautiful piece Gbenga.Well done!!!

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Thanks Lawal. I assume you meant ‘we CAN’T have everything in life’. I agree with you. We win some and lose some.

  7. Gbenga, really, i love this.
    well thought out, obviously.
    So what would a girl do? I guess like every one else I want to read about the female side of things.
    Well done!

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Thanks Remi. I’m wondering what a girl would do in this case and I’m seriously thinking of doing an opposite number on this one.

  8. lol @ removing the hindrance, that was funny. Gbenga i think you should try submitting this to a men’s magazine- its a good article and a lot of guys will like it.
    Good one Gbenga.

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Thanks for the advice Elly. I think i’ll do just that. Got any related magazines in mind?

  9. This was quite funny, and real too. I have seen instances where it happened in real life.

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Hmmm, really. I can imagine. Life reveals itself in funny ways sometimes.

  10. Yeah…shit happens…

    ISSUE IS…what are you willing to do when it does happen? How far are you willing to go…?

    NICE ONE GBENGE…

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Thanks Seun. Good question. . . one that requires a lot of pondering.

  11. Its life and things happens…odd though it may be I’ve seen it happen…well, nice one out here…keep em coming…hoping for the other side of this….Funny how it can be in reality…really….

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Thanks treasured1. I can’t agree less.

  12. Lol. Very nice. But removing the hinderance fit get as e be o.N obody will say you didn’t warn them sha.

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Na so, my sister. At least, they got a warning.

  13. I found this funny Gbenga. Why try to take a girl away from a relationship? Peeps need to consider that she just might be taken away from them too. Life plays games sometimes. My advice? None am afraid. lol

    Gbenga, am seriously laughing. Well done bro!

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Yes indeedy. What goes around sure does come around. I guess those trying to do such stuff should go into it prepared to face future consequences.

    2. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Funny. No advice? . . . at least one option needs to be taken, else the guy would die from the pains of desire.

  14. i think you should get this published in a magazine as it is very informative and educative.
    well done

    1. Geebee (@Gbenga-Olowosile)

      Thanks Anderson. I’ll do my best in this regard soon. Hope you’re good, man.

  15. Hmmm … Gbengulo … you got me hooked I must admit …
    How on earth did you write such a beautiful article … wow …
    Anyway, its not new to me as I’ve seen instances … real life instances … and I guess the feminine side is what I can’t wait to read … and again I say … Gbenga, you’ve got me hooked to this o. Bravo guy … five fingers up 4 u … GREAT WORK.

  16. Lmao!!! so funny…as for girls removing the hinderance or taking the plunge i’m sure that can be arranged as well, i hear guys complain alot about not getting asked out, thou it is bound to get pretty ugly cuz girls are devious creatures…*smh* at my species…

  17. Wow, I relate well with this fantastic piece. @Gbenga-Olowosile has gotten his hands well-cooked inside the pot of inks.

    Nice job.

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