Weight of the World (…chapter 12, tart series)

Weight of the World (…chapter 12, tart series)

Sometimes, I miss…him.

Yes, I know that seems like a testament to how good his crack was, or something, considering that he’s the only guy I’ve been with…

Nasir called me yesterday night, by the way, just in case you were wondering where my train of thought is fatally speeding to right now. Recap of our phone convo:

Prick: Hey, baby.

Cold as Ice: What do you want?

Prick: *laughs* How civil!

Cold as Ice: *silence*

Prick: Lara?

Cold as Ice: Yep?

Prick: *clears throat* Well, I was just checking on you, you know. I mean, not like you care or whatever…

Cold as Ice: *cuts him short* You’re right, I don’t.

Prick: God, why can’t we just get along? Why do you always have to go on like this? I’m just trying to keep things cool between us

Cold as Ice: And I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested in doing so! So why don’t you just leave me the hell alone?! How hard can that be?!

Prick: Oh, I see, that’s how it is now

Cold as Ice: Yes, do you get it now?

Prick: I don’t. What, there’s someone else pulling your strings now?

Cold as Ice: *close to exploding* I have to have someone new before you believe I am finally over you?!

Prick: I didn’t say that but…

Cold as Ice: I have to go

Prick: Come on *exhales* Why do you always make this so difficult?

Cold as Ice: Why do you refuse to just leave me alone?

Prick: It’s not that easy. I loved you…I love you

Pause.

Let the record reflect that this guy is the biggest prick of all time. It’s like he gets his socks off building and breaking me over and over and over again. Well, here’s the memo…I am sick and tired of having it, and so I am not having it.

Cold as Ice: *silence*

Prick: Lara?

Cold as Ice: I don’t get it. Is your girlfriend out of town? You need phone sex? Did you dial the wrong number?

Prick: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! Where are you taking this?

Cold as Ice: Where you seem determined to take this, Nasir

Prick: Yea?

Cold as Ice: Yes. You claiming to love me isn’t enough. Leaving me alone is!

Prick: I am trying, I…

Cold as Ice: You call this trying?!

Prick: I still have feelings for you; they aren’t going to go away overnight. And I know you feel the same, no matter how you try to pretend otherwise

Cold as Ice: I am not pretending. I am over you, and I am over this

Prick: You’re not

Cold as Ice: Look, Nasir, I’m not sure who you thought would pick up the phone when you called but I’m not who you are looking for

Prick: What do you mean?

Cold as Ice: I don’t know. I mean, you were probably hoping to reach the girl who would once listen to a line or two of yours and come running back as usual but man, that girl doesn’t live here anymore.

Prick: Yeah?

Cold as Ice: Yes, Nasir, yes.

Prick: I love you, Omolara. I know that much of what we used to be has changed, but that hasn’t

Cold as Ice: What difference does it make now?

Prick: I don’t know. I am confused right now, I feel like I’m making a mess of things right now

Cold as Ice: You already did

Prick: Did what?

Cold as Ice: Made a mess of things.

Prick: I know. Can I come over?

Cold as Ice: *silence*

Prick: Lara?

Cold as Ice: *silence*

Prick: Please?

Cold as Ice: No… No, Nasir, you can’t

Prick: *laughs softly* Are you sure?

Cold as Ice: I am. Don’t call me anymore.

I dropped the phone then.

Minutes later, he sent a text. “Keep running. You can’t hide.”

My thoughts were jumbled for the rest of the night. And no, before you jump on my throat, I’m not considering or anything. It’s just…hard. Like, I am tired.

Like, literally TIRED. Tired of having to go back and forth. Tired of him playing lachrymose with the chords of my emotions. Tired of him making me cry and cry when there are so many other constructive things I could spend my bloody time doing. Tired of him making second-guess myself.

Quite frankly, I am tired of grieving for him…for us.

If he loves me like he claims, he needs to let me go.

If you love me, then let go of me
I won’t be held down by who I used to be
She’s nothing to me

Evanescence

http://thetartseries.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/weight-of-the-world/

(Aside: You can find chapter 11 on my blog above. Saving the more fast-paced chapters for NS! :p)



12 thoughts on “Weight of the World (…chapter 12, tart series)” by Lara B. (@larabrown)

  1. Nasir is such a silly person!! He should leave Lara alone jo!! What a nerve! Claiming he still loves her and yet he has a GF…what a convenient place for him to be..psscheww!.Lara darling don’t even think about going back to him o!.. Well done jare.

  2. Abeg avoid the idiot like the plague he is. What rubbish. Mtscheeeeeeeew!

    Enjoyed this, as usual.

  3. LOL…couldn’t help but sigh at the ‘man-hating’ comments up there…

    No doubt…Nasir is a royal prick…but then have you ever seen a ‘homeless prick’?

    My sentiments exactly. Nice one.

    1. Loll…some men just call for hating, you know!

      1. And some ladies/woman/girls…?

        LOL…don’t mind me..

  4. lol Seun.
    Nasir is soooo annoying.
    Nice read Lara.

    1. Thanks, abby! :)

  5. Should i kick his ass for you?

    1. LOL! You have my permission to get all gangster on him!

    2. LADE…temper…remember the ‘inner bitch’ conversation…?

  6. Nasir is just a fool…unrepentant jerk

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