Momentary Insanity

Momentary Insanity

Soki finally came to the conclusion that this was certainly one of those days he wished he never got out of bed in the first place. He sighed inwardly at his boss’s curt request;

“I want the report on my desk first thing tomorrow morning!”

Not even a commendation for salvaging the situation – Geez! As he got behind the wheels of his car to begin the long drive home, he felt like a man who had been to battle and lost. He felt frustrated, battered and bruised.

He started out the day arguing with his wife, Belema over her idea of a second honey moon. She had been brimming with it all week, and he had cleverly managed to avoid discussing it until this morning. It was not like he was unromantic, or completely abhorred the idea; heavens NO! He just wasn’t ready for the financial implications of such a trip. He wasn’t poor at all, he was sure he could afford it if he stretched his resources, but that was exactly what he didn’t want to do. His mind went back to the question his mother asked him, when he announced his intention to marry Belema. She called him aside and after listing all of Belema’s very desirable qualities, she popped the question,

“Soki dear, I know you love Belema, but she was brought up with the finer things of life. She is used to a very lavish lifestyle, are you sure you can maintain it?”

He recalled how fast his confident and cocky answer came out. He was young, ambitious, climbing the corporate ladder with a speed that surprised everyone, and so he was fully convinced of his capacity to satisfy Belema’s cravings. Besides he really was in love with her, and still is. He still remembers how scared he was approaching her after Cupid’s arrow had struck. Eventually when he did get to know her he found out that even though she was a ‘daddy’s girl’ she was very sweet, very accommodating and very supportive of his dreams.

But this morning she was very far from any of her sterling qualities, at the height of her nagging he yelled at her. For the first time in their three-year old marriage he came very close to hitting his wife. Belema screamed in shock when he grabbed her by both arms and gave her a good shaking. It was the scream that stopped him. The look on her face when he eventually let go of her made him hate himself. He could not believe he had done that, he wasn’t a violent person, he wasn’t even confrontational. He moved up in his career, not by ruthlessness or brute force but by his intelligence and cunning.

After that encounter with his wife, his day just went south. He got to the office to news that a major account he secured had been lost. As if his morning couldn’t get any worse, rather than blame the subordinate that lost the account, his boss shifted all the blame to him. For Pete’s sake! He got that account and several other major accounts for his company in the first place. Why should he now take the fall for another employee’s incompetence? His boss wouldn’t hear of it, he just wanted the account back.

The fact that he was also expecting a call from Captain Briggs, his father in-law, didn’t help his mood. Belema wasn’t a tattler but her father was the first to hear about things she couldn’t handle. Soki effortlessly filled that space most times, but being the cause of this particularly ‘thing’ she couldn’t handle, he was sure Daddy would be her only choice.

He managed to set up a meeting with the client. Their reason for pulling out was explained and a commitment to reconsider extracted. It was the report of this meeting his boss expected him to deliver by tomorrow morning. He sighed again as he looked at his wrist watch, he hoped with all his heart that Belema will be at her parents so he could put in some work at night. Besides he wasn’t ready to confront her and their ‘domestic issues’ just yet.

His car suddenly making contact with the car in front of him brought him out of his reverie; in all his musing he had momentarily forgotten he had his feet on the accelerator pedal. The car he hit was a black and shiny Toyota land cruiser; thankfully it had a rear-guard so the impact left only a visible scratch. He imagined most of the damage will be to his car.

Before he could pull himself together, a woman, about 5ft 3inches tall sprightly jumped out of the Land cruiser. She appeared to be middle aged underneath all the makeup. She had on cleavage baring clothes, clothes a younger woman would have pulled off effortlessly; needless to say she looked like a hooker in them. All of her fingers were adorned with rings varying in sizes, but none looked like a wedding band. Even before her feet made contact with the asphalt of the road, she had started yelling expletives at him,

“Get out of your car! You this arrogant man, you dare to bash my car yet sit down in yours? Idiot! Wretch!”

A crowd slowly started to gather. People were murmuring excitedly anticipating a show to spice up their otherwise routine lives. From the crowd someone ventured to address the screaming land cruiser owner

“Madam, na small scratch, leave am make him go, you no see as him own car damage?”

That got her really ticked, and she stretched to her full height to say to him

“Idiot, you say na small scratch, you fit buy common bicycle wheel talk less of this kind motor? If you no know wetin to talk carry yourself and your poverty comot for my front”

At that, some in the crowd burst out in laughter, some gave her a disapproving look as the man that spoke up slinked away. They were all clearly waiting for Soki to get out of his car and confront the land cruiser owner.

He eventually got out of his car, after deciding that his best course of action will be to apologize to her.

“Madam, I am very sorry, it was never my intention to hit your car I simply lost control momentarily”

“It was not your intention abi?” She screamed at him

“A stupid idiot like you, is that all you have to say?”

He chose to ignore the insult and instead continued pleading with her

“I am truly sorry Madam, what will you have me do?” He asked her

The very next thing he saw was a flash of her bejeweled fingers making contact with his cheek, and then he saw stars. For a moment he didn’t understand what happened until his cheek started to sting painfully. The crowd gasped simultaneously then a hush fell on them, he knew they were all waiting for his next move. He still can’t explain what happened to him, but he knew at that moment something in him snapped. He took one cold look at the madam as she quickly stepped away from him. By now the crowd had grown to about two times its initial size, surprisingly the policemen that usually littered that road were absent. He walked quietly to his car, opened up the boot, took out his jack and walked back unhurriedly to the land cruiser.

When it dawned on the woman what he was planning to do, she began to scream again but this time at the crowd

“Are you people just looking at him? Somebody stop him o! He clearly does not know who I am”

Unfortunately for her she left her handbag in the car, so making a call was out of the question as it appeared her phones were in the bag.

Soki brought down the jack on her windshield with all the force he could muster, and it was with relish he heard it crunch on his second try. While he was at it, the woman was still screaming at the crowd, who by now were deeply engrossed in the entertainment, some found it extremely funny, some felt it was payback time for her arrogance , some shook their heads in pity but nobody moved a finger to help her out. By the time he was done taking out the two headlamps in front, his anger was spent. He walked back to his car amidst the excited chatter of the crowd. He even heard someone say

“Madam you dey fear am now?  You no go pursue am make you give am another hot slap? Useless money miss road”

Soki was past caring, after he returned the jack to the booth, he got in behind the wheels and zoomed off. The whole drama lasted for nothing less than 10 minutes, but it was a crazily, exhilarating 10 minutes. After checking his side and rearview mirrors to make sure he wasn’t being followed, he threw back his head and burst out in maniacal laughter. He felt all the frustration of the day draining out of him and taking its place was a strange invigoration. He parked his car in the garage with a huge smile on his face. And as he got out of the car his phone rang. It was a very cheery Soki that answered it

“Good evening Sir, Yes I just got home, and yes I will be able to see you tomorrow evening. Can I please speak to my wife now?”



51 thoughts on “Momentary Insanity” by Mercy Ilevbare (@efearue)

  1. lol. But with that kind of lurking temper, it’s only a matter of time before he takes to battering his wife.
    Nicely written. Very easy to visualize the story.

    1. Thanks Lade…batter his wife ke???? E no dey fear Capt. Briggs?..lol

  2. Lol. Just knew he would go haywire and help that womans pimp her car. I can almost feel him get reinvigorated. Very nice, Mercy. Well done.

    1. ‘Pimp her ride’..he sure did!…Thanks Uche…

  3. Good one Mercy, 5 minutes madness can be very therapeutic.

    1. Therapeutic????? hmmm….Elly, is there anything you wanna tell me?lol. Thanks babe.

  4. This one pass five minutes madness oo, @ Elly :D. Lol, quick and sharp story, @ Mercy, a fantastic 5 minutes fix – for me certainly. Very apt title; his reaction was insane and he definitely wouldn’t be getting away with it if it was real life!

    1. Thanks Marya…Still waiting for my Zed fix sha… :D

      1. @ Mercy, I’m working on it! Keep an eye on your inbox, your “Zed fix” might show up one of these days, lol.

  5. I love that guy,she dey craze?sounds like what I would do.
    Nurse Mercy,hahahaha,this was good.
    You rock.

    1. Gretel! you are too sweet to do that… ;)…BTW Nurse Mercy is Seun’s nurse o!!..No go look for Seun trouble , I no dey o!

  6. Okay dear aunt,but some people do make my bitter part comot,serzly,(ha,this thingy you learnt from me,lol)she deserves a serious car pimping.
    I know Seun’s nurse is Mercy,t’was just a way of bringing the foroom’s gist to public,”wink”.

    1. He he he he! I serzly agree with u dear. As for our foroom gist, R u sure the public is ready for it?.. ;)

      1. okay,I’ll keep the foroom gist for the foroom oh.

        1. “Seun’s nurse is Mercy”… No comment lol

          1. Chimmy, na foroom gist oh, not for public consumption. You don’t wanna know what Seun’s…….lol

        2. Gretel…why you dey fall my hand na…?

          Nurse Mercy don ask for your phone number na…

          And how the hell did ‘Seun’ enter Mercy issue at all?!?!?!??

          1. I’m sorry sir,please don’t give her my number,I don’t want acid bath please,I’m sowieeeee.

  7. hahaha!!! this is a classic Mercy!!! i can imagine myself doing that after a long frustrating day, reminds me of this case i heard of a while back, a new 2008 toyota car was bashed by a danfo bus, breaking the brake light, even thou he was the one clearly at fault, refused to pay for the damage cuz he claimed to be broke and was begging and the more the driver and the danfo bus driver argued the more frustrated the madam felt, the driver on instructions of his madam, brought out the jack and broke all the head lights hehehe…just punishment shey?

    1. Just punishment ke? That was one harsh mosaic law..lol. Thanks babe, when you said ‘this is a classic Mercy’, did you mean I now have a recognisable style?.. ;) ;)

      1. Madam, I didn’t get the emoticon lecture well; blame it on age. Please teach me but slowly this time. lol

        1. Ahan!!..They are supposed to be winking, in anticipation of Meena’s positive response , that I, ‘Mercy Ilevbare’ is now the proud owner of her own literary style….like the Lade’s, Marya’s, Chinua Achebe’s, Anderson Paul’s,Meena Adekoya’s, Jaywriter’s, Chimamanda’s, Wole Soyinka’s, Shakespare’s and Abby’s et al of this world… :D ;)

          P.S

          Before you ask again, the last two emoticons are Miss Laughalot and Miss Winkers, in anticipation that you finally got my emoticons…lol

      2. so sorry i just got around to replying u on this, u so have ur own style…awwwwww…i’m flattered to make the list oh…*taking a small bow wiv a blush*

  8. I love the story.

    It resounds mostly with me because…as ever once-upon-a-time insane man will tell you…

    I have been there before.

    Graphic.

    1. I believe the ‘once-upon-a-time insane man’ gist…lol. Thanks Seun, I am sooo glad you loved it.

  9. @lade-a ‘s comment – “lol. But with that kind of lurking temper, it’s only a matter of time before he takes to battering his wife.”

    People like might go about breaking up the whole house but never beat a woman. A slap if the woman really humiliates them so so much but never battering.

    Good stuff. Will support the second speaker “I can almost feel him get reinvigorated.” This was really good. A slap with all the rings, well glad it knocked him out of his broody and moody and gloomy day.

    1. It sure knocked him out of his broody, moody and gloomy day….Thanks Jay!

  10. Me like. So aptly told. Still feeling Soki’s frus… There is always some element of insanity in every individual. Depends on how much you can take before you let your’s run wild… Serve the “slap-go-happy-lady” right!

    1. Thanks Chimmy…lol@Serves the “Slap-go-happy-lady” right.

  11. Mercy dear, was wondering when you were gonna delight us again with your writing; tis been a while you know. However, I thought twas Seun’s post from the title but no issues sha.

    Me I no support this type of punishment oh; if we all went around breaking one another’s head lamps, who go dey see waka for night? You got to consider that street lights are not too available in Las Gidi. lol

    Em Madam, I know the “boot” thing is a mistake because you wrote “booth” later on. My guess is, you wrote “boot” in your excitement to break the head lights. )

    1. ha ha ha!!!! I know why you will think it was Seun’s…Thanks Abby, you guessed right..So Las Gidi no get street lights too??? (feigning ignorance)..I think say na only for La’ Garden City AKA PH naim street lights no dey o!

  12. Ha Mercy, alakoba!!!
    Me, I no dey there.
    I said that they “are not too available” oh. Them dey; them just no too plenty.
    Whether them dey work na another issue sha oh.

  13. @Mercy, Momentary Insanity … hmmm … poor dude. Thumbs up!

  14. Men, everybody deserves to go crazy once a while. I actually felt his misery ooze out. Actually, most times, violence on inanimate objects IS therapeutic. Anger mgt classes advocate smashin old dishes in your basement/backyard/whatever. Nize won, Merc.

    1. Glad you think it’s nice…Anger mgt huh?..off to break me some crockeries..lol…Thanks Cikko

  15. Simple, straightforward story. When you got to the bit about Soki taking his jack from his boot, I truly didn’t know what to expect – that was a nice thrill.

  16. Oh, and I’m not sure about bit where the story digresses into the discussion between Soki and his mother; it looked a bit unnecessary, given that the story was more about Soki’s inner tension than his relationship with his wife.

    1. You mean it was not predictable as you read? Great!!!..Thanks TolaO..As for his mum’s bit, guess I was trying to make him more frustrated by making him doubt his ability to really satisfy his kinda spoilt wife…But I see what you mean…Thanks again

      1. Yes, @Mercy – I meant my comment about unpredictability in a ‘good’ way, as you guessed. I think it heightens the drama when you keep the audience guessing till the last possible minute. Even better when you give them a hint of something terrible, but don’t tell them what exactly it is. :)

        1. Thanks TolaO, keep the audience guessing right?..sounds like a great plan. Will get to work at churning out suspenseful stories then.

  17. A lovely one…This madness is another thing coming ooo…….lovely….

    1. Thanks Treasured1…

  18. this is amazingly easy to read and folow mercy, and that is what i really like about the story.Well done!!!

  19. hahaha, Mercy me!
    He broke her windshield? Head lamps? how did he get away? she just stood there and sulked? she must have been dumbfounded. and he totally relieved to have taken out his anger on something.
    Nice one babes. you always deliver!

    1. Stood there and sulked ke?? She just stood there and screamed at the crowd, she did some atilogu dance steps too..lol. Thanks dear

  20. I could literally feel the anger seep out of him after that act! Nice one! I can totally relate…I simply smash dishes when I’m mad or throw punches at the wall(straight face)….it helps but hurts like bloody hell! The snooty rich babe no know say she jam rock with this one! Good job mercy!

    1. ha ha ha ha!!! Remind me never to piss you off…Thanks babe!

  21. very nice and meaningful story.
    guess a lot of people think they are the craziest in the world but dont know some people might just be crazier.
    well done Mercy

  22. ha ha ha this is very very funny and sweet…well done

Leave a Reply