Kill me with your words

Kill me with your words

‘You killed your own baby, you liar!

Even as he said the words to her, he knew that he had made a terrible mistake. The look on her face had him flinching on the inside but he refused to budge.

‘You told me you had a missed abortion, what the hell is that’?

‘You never wanted the baby in the first place so you must have taken some pills to kill our baby’.

They were standing outside the church office where they had just finished a counseling session with the pastor. If she could have turned any ashier under her beautiful dark brown skin, she would have.

He pushed way the fact that they had had unmarried sex several times even when she didn’t want to; he always had his way of getting what he wanted.

He forgot the fact that she had boldly told her parents about the baby even when she knew that she faced the risk of being disowned by her father. He was the Leader of the charismatic movement in the largest parish in Zaria after all.

He shoved at the back of his mind the fact that she had reported herself to the pastor of her church the minute she had found out she was pregnant.

‘I want us to be accountable’, she had told him, her eyes pleading for understanding.

He willed himself to forget her sobs over the phone when she called him while was lounging in front of his computer in his parent’s house.

‘The baby’, she had babbled over the line.

‘I’m losing the baby…I’m bleeding’.

He had rushed down to her side; A three hour drive from Abuja to Kano.

He had watched the nurse shove her fat hand into her Vagina in the airless hospital room

Had watched her shoulders slump as the nurse briskly declared,

‘We have to do an immediate D & C’.

He had heard her whimpers of pain through the thin walls as they scraped out the remains of their child.

He forgot that he had wept like a baby when they showed him the parts in a cold stainless bowl; blood and flesh twisted in an unrecognizable mass.

Yes…he told himself to forget all that as he stood in front of her and said coldly again,

‘You killed our baby’.

Her lips were glued shut and her eyes were as wide as saucers. He didn’t try to stop her as she walked away without a word, her back straight and her steps heavy.

She couldn’t say a word because she wasn’t sure what she would say to him. After all they had been through together, he really thought she would induce an abortion? Really?

With his hands in his pocket, he watched her until she was just a blur in the distance, his eyes unblinking.

When she finally disappeared, he heaved a sigh and shuddered, sobs racking his frame. It was better this way.

The pastor had said after all that he didn’t have anything to offer her and advised them to break up and start afresh apart.

He was a school dropout without a steady job

He still lived with his parents

He smoked marijuana to while away his time.

He was a no one, and he didn’t want to pull her down with him.

An hour later, he was at home when he got the call. It was from the pastor

‘Jake, this is Pastor Ken. Sarah was just hit by a car; I’m sorry, she didn’t make it’.

The phone slipped from his hand and clanged to the floor.



26 thoughts on “Kill me with your words” by estrella (@estrella)

  1. Estrella, heartbreaking story but I love the way you wrote it even though it is painful to read as I feel for her.You made the character believable and tangible like somebody we would know and it hurts to know that it happens.

  2. DAMN!!!
    This is one ‘bad’ story. He’s going to live with regret for the rest of his life.
    And the silly pastor had to be the one to break the news!
    DAMN!

  3. OH SHIT.

    OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.OH SHIT.

    OH SHIT.

    ESTRELLA…OH SHIT.

    OH NO.

  4. What is it with pastors playing god and deciding which relationship will work and which will not? I guess its the non-religious part of me talking.

    This is very good estrella.I like the narrative style you used.

    PS: Ehere is the remaining part of bloodied hands now? You know we brothers don’t like to be kept waiting o.

    1. @Opeyemi – religious or non-religious, don’t matter. If two adults decide they want to be together, its no one’s business but theirs. If you don’t think they are a good match, SHUT UP and pray. That also applies to pastors.

  5. Estrella! Real emotions here.
    yes, he’ll live with the pain for a looong time to come.
    Sad story.
    WeLl told!

  6. Estrella!! Why now?? Is that not too much tragedy for one man to bear, his child, his love and her life..na wa o!!…I enjoyed the story nevertheless. Well done!

  7. Mazi Nwonwu (@Fredrick-chiagozie-Nwonwu)

    Tragic! very sad. well told too. It happens, so can be told.

  8. So so sad. I’m almost in tears. Good job, Estrella. You were able to convey the emotions perfectly.

  9. I echo Seun and I really loved this story,so sad so bad so nice.
    estrella you rockkkkkkkkkkk

  10. Thumbs up Estrella … you write so well …

  11. Simple, straightforward, just how I like it. Good job Estrella!

  12. Estrella Estrella… Have always liked you. This is quite good. Not too much tragedy would have been good though. Reminds of Revolutionary Road.

  13. @all…im so sorry i haven’t responded to any of your replies…I’ve been off the I.T radar for some time but I’m back!

    @Seun…How dramatic! lol!
    @Lade..you speak the truth..pastors should quit playing God when it comes to relationships

  14. @Jefsaraurmax…it is someone you know..could be your best friend or your colleague in the office…people all around you are going through one form of shit or the other..we just need to listen more to the silent screams…
    @lawal…aw dude! you still waiting for bloodied hands? I’m working on it..really…it will be up soon…

  15. @Remiroy..thanks girl!…glad u liked it…
    @mercy…I think i do better writing sad stuff? another Daniel steel in the making eh?

  16. How raw, and how real! So how did a daughter of a charismatic reader get involved with a hemp smoker anyway?? But such is life; responsible men are few and hard to find! Good one.

  17. @Jaywriter…i’ve always liked u too…lol! ..i know the tragedy was a bit overdone but hey! got u to comment didn’t i? I haven’t read? or is it watched? revolutionary road but I’ll take that as a compliment! lol

  18. Watched, me dear. Leonardo Di Caprio et Kate Winslet.

  19. Apt title girl.
    That was totally low of him and look what happened next.
    Girl, this is heartwrenching!

  20. Nice….loving this…

  21. this dude eff up big time sha.talk about being unaccountable and inconsiderate. this is real and touching…plus i like the abrupt end.

  22. A scary example of how the best intentions can go wrong.

  23. What an idiot…hope he lives a sad life after…God punish that pastor too

  24. Oh, I feel for Sarah and for Jake, I hope he becomes better. For the pastor, I wonder what he did………….

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