The heart of man is naturally inclined to certain dirty acts. ‘Naturally’ here would imply the fact that these so-called dirty acts are a part of us and remain as close to us as our very skins. It further implies an absence of willpower on the part of the person in question; well except in the case of rejuvenation, a situation that most certainly happens to people from time to time. Once this happens, we are finally able to shed this ‘natural dirty cloak’ and put on a clean one. I remember the very first time I heard about ‘puberty.’ I must have been about nine years old or thereabout and I remember stumbling on the word in one of Beedee’s integrated science notebooks. The word sounded pretty catchy and on further probing, I got to understand what it meant. I understood puberty for boys meant a deeper voice, development of pubic hair in the armpit and ‘down there’ and stuff like that and somehow, I could hardly wait to get to that stage. On much more further probing I got to know that I wouldn’t get to that stage till I was about twelve or thirteen! I discovered I had a long wait coming.
For me, growing up was fun to an extent, (at least my first nine years before my parents’ separation) and I did all those things children did – the sand and stone games, the hide-and-seek and the ‘daddy and mummy’ game. Actually, the last one was my favourite especially because I always got to play Daddy all the time and my first childhood crush, Tosin always got to play Mummy. I must have been about five or six then but I already knew what it felt like to be attracted to a girl. (Yes I was attracted to Tosin like hell!). In fact, I had begun to have erections sometimes and so when I read about the puberty thing, I wondered if one of the signs of puberty was the possibility to have erections. I guess I was wrong especially because of what little kids of nowadays do, all in the name of playing silly games. Like I said earlier, the heart (regardless of age now) is naturally inclined to . . . well, you know the rest.
I finally succumbed to Chief’s advice and enrolled for the JAMB/UME classes in March 2003. By this time, Dorothy, the house maid cum part time sexual partner had been ‘fired’ by my step-mom Cyan and I had to live with a step-cousin who saw smoking as his only reason for existence. On the smoking thing, it felt like fun on the first day like I said in the last episode and you can imagine Emy’s joy on seeing me smoke. It was similar to the joy of an evangelist who had succeeded in winning a soul for the kingdom, only in this case my step-cousin was the smoking evangelist who had won a new soul for the smokers’ kingdom. However, just like the new convert in the Christian race usually gets bored after a while (except by the grace of God), I began to get bored with smoking, especially since my chain-smoking step-cousin always wanted me to accompany him all the time whenever he went on his smoking sprees. Sometimes, we sneaked to smoke like five times a day! It was that bad and it was at this point I decided I couldn’t live like that. I thought it unwise to continue smoking for a couple of reasons. First, I did not want to die young, having heard a zillion times that smokers were liable to die young. Second, I did not want to have cancer and I heard again that this was the best friend of smokers. Third, I had a sparkling white set of teeth (it’s not that sparkling anymore. lol) and I did not want mine to become like Emy’s teeth, which had since turned yellow with cigarette stains. All the while, I smoked just for the fun of it and not because I enjoyed it. However, it appeared Emy was determined to further integrate me into this new type of race and I began to resist it like a plague. Soon, he got tired and decided to let me be. In fact, before long he was on his way back to the U.K.
In between attending my coaching classes, I longed for the sexual feel again, especially since I had gotten so used to the act with Dorothy. At seventeen, I was still pretty shy around the opposite sex and I was still yet to ever ask a girl out, so getting laid seemed to be an impossible task. I decided to improvise and resorted to peeking through the bathroom key hole whenever Elfy and Liz were having their baths and usually, I got an eyeful. It was more like live pornography and only God knows how I managed not to ever get caught while indulging in such dirty acts. I never got caught peeking but I got caught doing something much more degrading (well maybe not) and this time it was Chief himself who caught me. When I remember this experience, I often laugh to myself. On that fateful day, I had sneaked into my dad’s personal drawer; one drawer in the living room he kept permanently locked. As a teenager, I had always been as curious as a cat and my inquisitive nature often had me finding out a lot of stuff. I asked questions endlessly and in situations where questions were not allowed, I resorted to a personal fact-finding mission. All the while, my curiosity had never particularly landed me in any serious trouble but this time the tides turned and I became a true cat – a victim of curiosity.
Somehow, Chief had forgotten to lock up his mysterious drawer and my eyes caught the keys hanging right on the lock. Much as I attempted to suppress the cat trying to fulfill its desires through me, I finally succumbed and decided to check out what my old man had been hiding forever in that sacred drawer. The revelation the drawer gave me almost had me screaming. No! I didn’t find a human head or something of that nature like you must probably be thinking. I discovered something else, something much more unexpected. I found movies; a good number of them. Now, these were not just movies – they were pornographic movies. I was shell-shocked and while I was trying to recover from the shock, I heard a sound of a door creak open. I had been totally carried away and absorbed with my discovery that I must have lost all sense of alertness in case someone might show up all of a sudden. I turned sharply to find myself staring at my dad. I thought I would collapse at that moment. . . . . . . . . TO BE CONTINUED.
SEE YOU IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GEEBEE’s TRIP!
This post was first published on MY BLOG
Read the previous episode HERE