It hurts and covering it up makes me short of breathe
so connected…so fast and its to late too regret and its considered one of those things to hard too forget
but i must
because sunny days won’t appear until i dispose the fear of not having “it”
YOUR name is “it” for now because saying YOUR name brings..PAIN
it hurts
four AM and its only..thoughts of…him
i said it!!!! now laugh
talk about how pathetic and weak i am
how i should not have given in
how our relationship never really made much sense
but…it did exist
or did it?
hypnotized and made to feel like this mirage of an “us” was real …….
run-on….
i ran on the possibility that one day he would be with me physically…and
AGAIN ….I WENT IN BLINDLY….
AND IT HURTS’
because you advised me to get a life as if i had none before….
while loving you?
If loving you meant i was lifeless then i was dead
and right now i need to be revived because only tonight did i manage to gasp enough air
breathing slow enough not to fracture my rib cage or whatever protects my heart from your daggers coated in toxic waste
You mutate my ability to love
You were my sanity
and to say I’m crazy is an understatement because crazy people are to caught up in their own minds to read between the lines…
but i did
so call me blind
Blind folded and lead by the possibility or the belief that we were soul mates
When we first met we called it fate and now I’m left wondering if love gone wrong will forever bepart of my destiny?
2 B continued…..
Na wa o! This much hurt spilling into a part 2? Sorry, gal.
This is a bit confusing…Don’t know if it’s a story or a poem. Some lines were not very coherent too.
Sowie,no girl should ever let a man hurt her this much.
Good writting though
Im so in love with this line ‘breathing slow enough not to fracture my rib cage or whatever protects my heart from your daggers coated in toxic waste’.
Really nice poem, like the way it was written. So sorry if its real though.
Good stuff. Must say though that the pattern, punctuation and all that is kinda outta control. Kinda feel that’s how you feeling. Like you pouring it out straight from your soul. If it is, great poem. If it isn’t, reedit. The emotion’s so great. Don’t fall so hard in love again, lol.
The lines in the poem are of such uneven length that it’s hard to see a rhythm in them. But the feeling certainly shines through…
The contemporary version of the popular subject matter of unrequited love is seen explored in this poem.
Is it an excerpt? And is ‘to be continued’ a device in the poem or you have a second part of it?
You do have a point there, you know? Does look like a device employed.
Really sad poem; I agree with TolaO and Jaywriter. Jaywriter especially sums it up perfectly.
the poem is sad and okay but i didnt really get the rhythm and sometimes it wasnt even looking like a poem.
I thinkly this was wrongly cast as a poem but still Ilike the emotions and how they’re conveyed.
Thanks for the comments. This particular piece was written to be performed. I am a spoken word artist and i perform poems a lot which when written down doesn’t look as if it rhymes or flows well.
I do agree with TolaO, Jaywriter and abby… you’ve got nice write…love the emotion and the way it was put together….though I can’t say if its a poem, a versed or a write-up…but like the device of “2 be continued…good heart rendering one….