Dance To The Music

Dance To The Music

(I wrote this last year for a friend who had given up on love because she had been hurt and it was affecting every relationship she had, even friendships)

You remember the first time you had that ‘butterflies in your tummy’ feeling? The one that turned into a full ‘butterflies winter flight to warmer regions’ (do butterflies do that?!) when he kissed you. And it escalated to ‘I cannot breathe because the butterflies just swarmed to my heart’ when he held you? You can never forget the giddy sensation of your times together. Nor the moment you discovered the difference between having sex and making love. What of the time you started planning for forever? And then he broke your heart!

The pain was like nothing you had ever felt before. Your heart was ripped apart. It was like the sun would never shine again. But because you are a survivor, you healed. Gradually, you learnt how to smile again. You once again looked up and saw the sun, felt its warmth on your body. Everything went back to normal. Except for one thing – Your Heart!
Somewhere along the dark, hard road to recovery, a fortress had been built round your heart. The emotional wound had left a visibly unseen scar that served as a constant reminder of the sharp thorns love bore.

So the next time a man smiles at you, the scar throbs a warning. When he declares his love, the fortress grows another inch higher. Even when you accept his offer, you never fully open up to him. The small window cracked open in the mighty wall has a well oiled latch waiting to snap close in an instant. You can no more hear the silent music of passion and even if you do, the dancing steps to it have long been forgotten.

Don’t you know every fairytale does not have to end with the Prince living happily ever after with his Princess? Sometimes, it’s enough to have him kiss you awake so you can live again. In the television series, ‘One Tree Hill’, Brooke told her friend, Peyton, “Every song has to end but you can dance to the music while it lasts’.

We all know the curtains are going to come down after the last act, but that doesn’t prevent us getting lost in the story. If you keep on waiting for the shoe to drop, you will miss a wonderful performance. Why not live in the moment? Don’t waste time thinking ‘how will it end? Will he last or not?’ Regret for things we do can be tempered by time but regret for the things we do not do can never be erased. Do not make a mistake you will look back on years later and wish you had another chance to make it right.

One of my favorite songs is by Ron Keating. The title is ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’. In it, he talked about making use of every moment you have now. He said ‘Tell that someone…………………. what you are thinking of, if tomorrow never comes’.

While you are waiting and wondering about tomorrow, today is passing you by. That is One thousand, Four hundred and Forty minutes in each day that can never be regained. And what if you never do have that tomorrow you are so anxious about? Never let what you wish for interfere with what you have.
Give that relationship a chance. Let go of fear and live. Allow yourself to feel that heady passion again. There is no guarantee that you won’t be hurt again but no matter how many times you fall, always rise. Refuse to be defeated. There is so much joy in every relationship no matter how short a time it lasts or how long it endures. Grab at that joy and revel in it.

Next time the music starts playing, dance to it! Throw up your arms and let your feet move your body to the rhythm. You never know, that song might extend into an album and you get to dance for a long, long time. But if it doesn’t, long after the music has stopped, its tune will still carry in the winds, and the echoes of guitar strums will linger for a long time, whispering to the memory your soulful sway under starry skies.
And you just might have learnt some new dances!



30 thoughts on “Dance To The Music” by Lade (@Lade-A)

  1. Hmmm…wise words to live by. I once saw this quote, or heard it, can’t remember now. But it stuck real good..” it is better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all”.

    Good article Lade,hope it made your friend feel better?

    1. Thanks, Mercy. I think it made her feel ‘too’ better, lol. She got herself a ‘rebound’ relationship. Ah well, whatever works!

  2. I love your analogies; brings to life the effect you wanted and she needed. Good one girl; I hope she flew with it.

    1. As i’ve already replied Mercy, not only did she fly with it, she also dived with it; she got involved in another doomed relationship. Maybe i should have kept my mouth shut, or is it my pen capped, lol.
      Thanks, dear.

  3. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Love it. I bet your friend loved it too.

    1. Thanks, Lara. Yeah, she loved it, unfortunately. Lol.

  4. @ Lade, I love it.I just wrote to a friend something similar (not as nice though ;).Life is short and we have to take chances sometimes.I like the analogy with the butterflies, so true!
    @ Mercy, I always liked that quote.

    1. I agree, Jef, what is life without risks? ‘No pain, no gain’; ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’; ‘There are a lot of ways to become a failure but never taking a chance is the most successful’ etc.

  5. Well well well so good and so true,every one should read this,seriously I don’t have time for heartbreaks,I’ve got only one heart so???
    I’ve never even had butterflies in my stomach,for what???
    Nice one aunty

  6. Yeyyyy what if you don’t like the genre of the music,me I don’t even dance oh,okay except with kids!!!I get the drift oh,don’t mind me.

    1. I have an aunty who says everyone should have at least one heartbreak in life. I agree with her. Its a wonderful experience (after the heart has healed, lol)
      And you just have to experience the butterflies oh. Nothing beats that giddy feeling.
      Thanks, Gretel.

  7. Mature way of writing..

    1. Thanks, 2cute. Those gray hairs on my head have to count for something, lol.

  8. Meena-Adekoya (@Olajumoke-Adekoya)

    love ur analogies…sad thou that ur friend ended up in another doomed relationship , it very good advice either ways…its food for thought,good work Lade

    1. Thanks, Meena. I’m sure my friend will get it right one day.

  9. Oh wise Lade!
    I love this line “We all know the curtains are going to come down after the last act, but that doesn’t prevent us getting lost in the story.”
    True that!

    1. Remi, thanks. I just knew those gray strands on my head will come in handy one day, lol. Finally, they are radiating wisdom

  10. @ Mercy…Used it a lot it’s from a one of the 80’s songs from England choir…”Its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”…

    @ Lade…A wonderful way of helping a friend…sorry it turned the wrong way…well, i guess it did helped out your friend in them hall (heart break)….

    1. Thank you. It did help out actually, at least she gave love another chance, which is what i preached. Now i have prepare for another preaching; for when she comes crying, lol.

  11. well, it’s quite enouraging for your friend, won’t make much meaning to a guy. You tried sha.

    1. meaning guys don’t get their hearts broken and swear never to love again?

  12. This your pen is a motivational speaker!!! And I think the message transcends gender and if you let it, romantic relationships too. U go Lade!!

    1. Yep, i believe it does. Thanks, ceug.

  13. lovely piece lade.
    your friend sure has a friend in you.
    at least she can always rebound on this if she gets herself into trouble.

    1. Thanks, Paul. I will tell her everyone says she is honored, fortunate, blessed . . . (i run out of words) to have me as a friend, lol. Don’t mind me oh.

  14. Lol
    whoever has the chance to know you is already fortunate.
    you are still number one you know.

  15. Sweet rebound music! But yeah… Awesome read. What is life without love?

  16. Can’t beleive you’ve hidden this from me. It’s not fair oh. Loved it. This is ‘I Love You’ part two. Totally agree with you. Will tell you that playing Dolly Parton’s Heart Breaker the whole day is the best way to get over a relationship in a day. It works well. The next day, call a friend and go out together and do something simple. That’s it. But you don’t advice someone to ‘dive’ in. You have to go in with your feet first. I think that was where you made a mistake. But it’s all good. People never get heartbroken twice. We just keep reliving the first one believing it’s another one. Good stuff lade. Love is a myth. Heartbreak a bigger myth.

  17. great lines

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