Precious Mistake

Precious Mistake

Kids. She cringed at the thought of having more than one as she watched helplessly as her nine year old daughter, Stephanie, stuff heap of food (jollof rice) into her mouth (talk about table manners) while talking about her school in general. To break it down, the games they played, Shade not wanting to play because her mom told her not to play with boys, how they ignored her, how they choose Tope to replace Shade, how Tope was now her best friend and… the gist was endless.

“… coming, so he said, can you imagine what he said” she paused to swallow and for more effect, she widened her tiny eyes “he said that…”

Talk about great company. Peter would have been here tonight. Just a little bit patience was all that was needed but no she just had to show him the way out.

Jennifer you’ve lost your touch.

She picked at her food before finally pushing the plate away. Apparently, she had just lost her appetite. Stephanie was almost through with hers. Why couldn’t the silly boy agree to marry her? Yes she was the one proposing and No he didn’t want to be saddled with the responsibility of a kid that wasn’t his. Love get levels. She pushed her thoughts aside.

“…new bike that she can ride to anywhere she likes. Even Joseph said his father is going to buy him one next month”

“uhm, really?”

“Yes, but the thing is” she stood up and started clearing the dishes “before I forget, the food was sweet like u” she gave her mom a peck on the forehead, picked the plate and headed for the kitchen while yelling “so, the thing is…”

Jennifer just oohed and aahed and that was the only motivation her child needed as she plunged into tales upon tales of boring gibberish lasting for over an hour.

“Time for bed, hun”

“Mom, do I have to? Can’t I stay a little bit more?”

“Yes and no, it’s a school day tomorrow and it’s already 8:30pm, so off you go. Am coming to tuck you in so hurry.”

She watched as Stephanie showed her displeasure by the slow steps she took to her room. How can she ever grow tired of this child? Her mistake? A mistake that she had come to love, to appreciate, to care for. Presently, she was glad to get rid of her even if it is just for the night. What a perfect getaway. The Governor was throwing a party in honour of his son’s return from the state.  Who wouldn’t be there? Besides since Peter was acting funny, it was time to go fishing. Who knows? She might end up with a whale tonight.

She danced all the way to her daughter’s room, opened the door slightly and tiptoed in. There she was, her little mistake of joy, dressed as an angel, pretending to sleep while almost choking her teddy to death. She released her daughters grip on the teddy gently.

“Hold it gently hun and it would stay with you throughout the night but if you hold it tight, any little opportunity and it would roll off the bed”

“ok mom”

“Sweet dreams” she bent and kissed her on the forehead

“Mom, why don’t you kiss me like Joseph?”

She was taken aback. Joseph kisses her? Remind me again, how old is she?

“How does Joseph kisses you?” she said tucking in the blankets.

“On my mouth like in the movies”

What to do? What to do? Stay calm. She couldn’t even maintain eye contact. God. She was pathetic. Stay calm. Stay calm. Duh! Not forever. Say something.

“Hun, kisses are done only in the movies.”

That’s the best you could come up with. You’re kidding me.

“Mom, I saw you kiss Uncle Peter once and you’re not in the movies.

Great. Just Great. White lie being exposed.

“Yeah, I forgot and for older people”

“Does it mean you won’t kiss me like Joseph and he even said there is nothing bad in it”

Double what? She could feel her eyes popping out. She had to get out of here. Fast. Before she is being eaten alive with questions she didn’t know how to tackle.

“Hun, it is very very bad, don’t ever allow anyone to kiss you that way ok?” she faked a yawn. “We would continue this talk tomorrow, am exhausted.”

“Whats ex-haus-ted?”

“It means tired. Now go to bed.”

“Love you mom”

“Love you too hun” She switched off the light, spun on her heels and practically ran out of the room.

She entered her room and flopped on the bed. She was having second thought about attending the party. She was 26yrs old and was still looking for fun when she ought to concentrate on raising up her child. Someone who couldn’t even answer a few harmless questions. She was such a failure at motherhood. If only…Too late for that now, she wiped her eyes and with strength that surprised even her went to stand before the mirror. She ignored the tired face that stared back at her. Her eyes were the window to her soul, she just hoped no one could see the pain that lurked deep down beneath waiting to be released. Nothing a little makeup couldn’t do. At least, she still had her figure, a figure that both men and woman were tripping for. Step 1. Cover her encroaching baldness. She picked up her weavon cap and placed it on her head after securing her hair with a tight rubberband.

Beautiful.

The party was filled with strippers in the name of dancers showing off what they got. The whole area was crowded but more people were trouping in. She went to the bar, ordered a drink, did some sightseeing and later stood up to do some booty shaking. Before long, a tall, dark and handsome gentle bobo came to join her on the dance floor.

Ready for some serious talking.

She walked him outside where they chatted for a few minutes then proceeded to their car. He was taking her home.

Homer Jeep. She don hammer.

He couldn’t even wait. Obviously, he lived very far. His hands were all over her. Enticing but awkward since the driver was mere inches away from them. It wasn’t long before he passed out on her. Dude has done some serious drinking. She relaxed and stared out the window glad to be left to enjoy this hot ride even if nothing else.

She was joggled back to the present when the car made a loud screeching noise, planning to grind to a halt but having lost all control wasn’t going to. She saw it. They were about to be joined in holy matrimony with this large petrol tanker in front. She stared at the driver who was screaming like a little girl and wanted to burst out laughing but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She had just been drained of all emotions. She looked at her date by her side and felt slight happiness as he wont feel the impact of the endless kiss they were about to share. Sorrow engulfed her as she thought of Stephanie. Her little mistake of joy.

Please hun, do this for me, don’t let anyone kiss you.



17 thoughts on “Precious Mistake” by angeleyes (@angeleyes)

  1. Meena-Adekoya (@Olajumoke-Adekoya)

    wow…u killed her?!?!?! that’s just cold! on the other hand it made a good read, although it did have some queer moments there…like in the beginning as if you couldnt make up your mind wheda to put the readers in her head, or outside observing mother and child…

  2. Would have expected more reaction from a mother on being told of a mouth kiss from her nine year old daughter.
    Killing her of was a nice touch.
    Welldone!

  3. @lade : you’re MEAN! lol

    @angeleyes : not fair, did she have to die? *sobs*, so her little mistake of joy is left alone in this terrible world…so so sad

  4. I don’t think she’ll be killed off: might make a helluva twist but unless there’s some way of giving the story a meaning, it’ll be a waste. But since its a short story and she necessarily does not need to tidy it up so to speak…

    It was a good read, though i also had the same issues as Meena: the beginning was obscure. I also think you need to confirm your spellings so that words such as “trouping”, and “Homer Jeep” don’t creep in. Also the “The Governor was throwing a party in honour of his son’s return from the state.” statement gave the story a ‘Cinderella’ feel. Good story.

  5. How heartless! you killed her off! nicely done though…I was kinda expecting a more violent reaction to her finding out that her daughter was being molested..but then again,pple react in strange ways and she seems like the type who has a delayed reaction to things around her..great story!

  6. I must say I did enjoy the story…love the interplay between her thoughts and her actual words. The end am not crazy about though.

  7. thank you all for your comment i appreciate.
    @ abby, thanks i will look into my spellings next time and your suggestion about making a twist is nice. thanks again
    @ meena thanks, i’ll try and present my point of view clearly next time
    @ lade thanks, ill improve on dat next time
    @ beautiful thanks, i feel your pain
    @ truthchasers, i apreciate your comment, thanks
    @ mercy, thanks a lot i appreciate

  8. Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

    The end was vague. One may have a head-on collision with another vehicle, but that doesn’t necessarily mean instant death. The narrator may have thought that “the endless kiss they were about to share” was coming, but, you see, the narrator lost control right there and now decided to hang on to the thought of her daughter. A statement in this story caught me: “They were about to be joined in holy matrimony with this large petrol tanker in front.” Semantically odd, even though the syntax was correct. In another way, it was awkwardly presented. A story with too many jibbers like that can make it look a bit too… much (*sorry, can’t find that word though*). But you’re a writer trying to find your voice, like me. Keep it up! Good work, but work harder!

    1. You know, was also going to mention the points you raised and its a good thing you did. Not sure ‘awkward’ quite captures it, but it did seem ‘too much’ like you said. Hmm, too much seems awkward. Oh well.

  9. Angeleyes

    Nice plot, this is one story due to my beliefs
    I rather just say nice plot and move on, I do encourage you to keep writing

  10. lol…I’m actually laffing at the fact that it seemed you were in a hurry to quickly kill her. The story started at a gradual pace then all of a sudden began to pick up speed in the events taking place. I can understand that to be because of the hurry she was in to catch some fun…sadly all that hurry didnt pay off.

    Nice story. I like the way her thoughts flowed in and out of her responses to her little kid.

  11. Mazi Nwonwu (@Fredrick-chiagozie-Nwonwu)

    Ok, good plot, rounded character, but very lax story telling. Watch the word usage and try to answer those questions than must have nudged your mind as you reread your story. There are stories that need that abrupt end, doubt very much if this is one of those. Also try not to tell a story in brackets, a hyphen and comma should suffice. In all a very good plot, look at it again if you can, it really worth that much. keep writing

  12. hmmm,story line is nice but i feel there are a lotta holes in between.
    maybe you should do more research on kids and how they are handled.
    i hope she didnt die though cos i m kinda expecting more.

  13. oops… am so sorry i cudnt reply earlier than this. thanks so much 4 ur comments i really appreciate it and i see dat i really have to sit up if i want to be a good writer.
    @emmanuella , i wud try and avoid jibbers like dat and thanks 4 d encouragement.
    @hajira, thanks
    @afronuts, thanks 4 d comment, wud try and maintain a steady pace next time
    @D/’lameone, nice id by the way, ill watch my word usage, and thanks 4 d correction abt telling stories in brackets – wud stop that immediately.
    @anderson – thanks 4 ur comment, wud carry out more research on anything i want to write about.
    Thanks 4 ur comment every1 i rily appreciate.

  14. This is good for a beginner but as you continue there needs to be some improvements. Since others have listed them already, I’ll just say – well done.

  15. I’ll echo Myne…and I’ll also add..I hate you. No offense.
    For actually making my eyes wet…nearly bringing me to tears…
    I do hate you. Really.

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