She ran to her room frightened. Her eyes darted around for a place to hide. They were fighting again. Why do they always do that? She could hear them now; her parents quarreling. She burst into tears. How she hated that! Soon, Dad would hit Mom. She sighed, wondering why he always did that. She sighed heavily again and sat on the bed, lost in her thoughts. And wasn’t this all her fault? If she hadn’t mistakenly dropped the saucer…and now, Mom would suffer for it. She glanced at the door in fright when she heard a whimper and quickly curled on the bed. Soon, the voices gradually faded and by the time Mom came looking for her, her 5year old was sound asleep.

She opened her eyes and just lay there for a while. Then she half turned to check the time on the wall: 2a.m. She remembered the events of last night ‘though she willed herself to forget. She’d angrily walked away leaving them to argue their hearts out, if they cared to and now, she couldn’t sleep. She got up and slowly walked to the full-length mirror in her room. Flipping the switch, she looked at herself. Who would know what she put up with at home every single day. Her parents were always at each other’s throats. Aarrgh! She looked at herself again, she had the worries of an adult but was just a teenager. The darn University better send that admission letter soon or she might well lose her mind. No chance of that happening, she smiled sorrowfully to herself. She shrugged and turned away from the mirror, got back in bed and picked up her Sony Walkman Digital Media Player. Sarah Mclaughlin’s voice came on: spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for the break that will make it okay, there’s always some reason to feel not good enough, and its hard at the end of the day, i need some distraction or a beautiful release, memories seep from my veins, let me be empty and weightless and maybe, i’ll find some peace tonight. (chr) in the arms of the angel far away from here, from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel, you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. you’re in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here.

She stirred, stretched and got up. She hadn’t even changed out of her work clothes. It had been a long day at the office but at least she was distracted. She shuddered as she thought of all those years when she had to sit at home listening to nothing but their quarrels and then shook her head to rid it of unpleasant thoughts. They still argued but old age restricted their arms from hitting each other. She had a quick shower and considered dinner but it was late already. She sat at the edge of her bed and smiled: she could choose to get caught in all the anger and bitterness or be happy. I choose happy! She would want them to work things out but until then yawn!, she stretched out on the bed and within minutes was fast asleep.

15 thoughts on “Escape” by abby (@abby)

  1. Didn’t really get where the story was going or what it meant cos it kept jumping and jumping from a teen to a grown up and all and i got lost in tween.
    maybe you can help me explain better please.

  2. good work here. tho i feel it could be much better with a little more work.
    also it could be better paragraphed to make reading easier.

  3. You write quite nicely but I agree with Paul…I was kinda under the impression that the piece was about the thoughts of a five year old but all of a sudden she is a teenager?

    Are you trying to depict a girl who has spent almost all her life watching her parents fight? you know from the time she was five till now? Because if you are,the transition is a bit blurred…

  4. Okay…I think I get the point of the story. There is a transition of this little girl to teenage then young adult. And through the process of all that growth she passes through the quarelsome relationship of her parents.

    Still this looks like a story in its infant development stage. It could get better when further developed

  5. You write well, but the story kept winding, you could do better.

  6. Thanks all
    @estrella & afronuts: spot on
    @paul & remiroy: it was paragraphed that way to avoid blurness in transition; its also why the sleep effect was introduced. Thought it would be easier to comprehend that way.

    1. lol,sleep effect.
      that is cool.
      welldone sha.

      1. Bros, you come my side today? You do well.

  7. Okay..
    3stages! and you so beautifully captured the feelings she harbored in all of those stages..
    What I love so much is the end..
    She didn’t let her childhood experience damage her;like turn her in to something else..
    Love it!

    1. Thanks 2cute4me; was hoping i would be able to capture the relevant issues appropriately.

  8. Think the story was a little misunderstood by some readers. It was a very good work. The transitions were very nature. This was a short story and the story had to be as short as possible, yet as detailed as possible. It was a very good work. Keep it up abby. @abby – U really went through that?

    1. Hey Jay, thanks for the vote of confidence. Means plenty. My stories are a fusion of a lotta stuff: experiences a la life generally, books, peoples’ tales, documentaries, movies etc. Its not necessarily personal.

  9. Mature not nature please.

  10. Ok,she escaped from all that bitterness.
    Nice one.

  11. Thanks Gretel for passing through!

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