Born to slut

Born to slut

I’d been smoking pot and having wild sex for the past ten years without an iota of remorse and it was all fine by me until I ran smack into T-boy. Now, he wasn’t what you would call good looking but he had that appeal that made you want to get close enough to find out what was on his mind all the time. He had that gentleness that made you want to prove that he was nothing but a fraud. He had that patience that made you want to test it until the monster you were so sure was inside him came out raging and looking for blood.

He made me want to be good when all I had ever been was bad and that infuriated me. I pushed him away from me with a violence that was nearly as breathtaking as it was brutal. But he kept on coming right back. I had my male friends give him a beating that put him in a hospital. I had my female friends throw themselves over him in  a shameless display of wanton lust…I screamed at him in public and slapped him more times than I care to remember…but he didn’t budge. He kept coming back, brown eyes filled with a love and understanding that made me want to run out of my own skin. ‘I believe in you and I can’t give up on you because God hasn’t given up on you’, he would murmur, even after I once emptied the plate of okra over his head. I believe in you.

When I couldn’t take it anymore I finally asked the one question that had been nagging me all along. The one question I had refused to ask out of sheer stubbornness. Why? Why do you believe in me so much when I hardly believe in myself?

My father didn’t believe in me, why should you? My mother didn’t believe in me, why should you? Why would a total stranger believe in me when my family thought I was born to be a slut?

And with the question came the memories I had buried. The pain I had shelved. The rejection I had hidden under the layer of artfully applied make up and a well toned body. Like a broken dam, I stood with everything gushing out of me. And like a sea he took it all in.

That’s how I got saved. That’s how I discovered who I really was and what I was made for; T-boy didn’t wave a huge bible in my face the way some people did to me sometimes. He didn’t tell me I would burn in hell if I didn’t repent like the choir mistress once told me when I wore my favourite tight miniskirt to church. He didn’t spit at me when I walked past and he didn’t snicker at me when I put my hand up in church to ask a question. I wanted what he had simply because he lived it.

Too many people spend their time judging people and making them feel worse than they already feel; all that only drives them further away. When you have Christ, you love more and judge less. The world has a lot of hatred and judgement already and they are looking for something different. Love is different and it makes you stand out.

That’s why Jesus said you are the light of the word. In a world where the hate has cast clouds so dark and thick, love is the only sun that can pierce through the darkness.

What are you doing today? Loving? Or condemning?



30 thoughts on “Born to slut” by estrella (@estrella)

  1. This write up touched me. I pray i continue loving and never condemn. Thank God for people like T-boy

  2. Yea, thank God for people like T boy, nice read.

  3. wonderful and engaging way of sharing the gospel..
    Thank you for this unique way of writing

  4. Very good story – reminds me of a book I read a while ago… ‘Redeeming Love’ by Francine Rivers. It would have been nice to hear more about the encounter between the main character and T-boy, and what happened to them after, but that’s probably beyond the capacity of a short story…

  5. Nicely written story, and very touching too.
    Do keep it up

  6. interesting and very touching write up.

  7. Someone said, thank God for people like T-boy. Was that for real? Will you like to give birth to a man like that?

    where my guys at, please help me out, them pour okra with plenty pepper for im head,beat am enter hospital n e still de tell the girl i believe in you! Believe in you say wetin? say you go kill person abi?

    You failed to tell me if the girl in question was real pretty or something.

    That’s why i always advise, don’t condemn but please stay away from the girls that smoke pot and have wild sex……… okay i admit, don’t stay too far away from the later group of girls. I mean how can we preach and reach them if we stay away from the wild sex girls.

    But if she smoke pot and eats of cooks okra…….. a word is enough for the wise

    …………By the way, nice article. I like it. (why else would i comment on it)

    Doff me hat

  8. @Tola..hmmm..now that’s an idea..a story within a story..I”ll think about it..
    @leno (sigh) you’ve started again again abi?

  9. Nice story, liked the end part. Quite unexpected for a story that started out typical. Did think that the events T-boy was subjected to were quite far-fetched; in that I agree with Leno. Not that those kinda guys don’t exist but what, i wonder, is his stake/gain? For the love of Christ? Yes, i believe but it seems unreal in some sorta way. Might be the reason Tola thinks there might or should be more to the story.

    Good job!

  10. What are me doing? Loving. Good story. The guys must’ve been a fool though. Reminds of Willy Loman. Nice stuff. Lotta smoking, nah!

  11. Thanks for the message.

  12. Emmanuella Nduonofit (@Emmanuella-Nduonofit)

    Hmmm, the girl who was smoking pot and having wild sex doesn’t have a name? Estrella, you categorised this piece as non-fiction. Is she you? Gals and guys, this transition from the wild life to the divine actually happened! It appeared like a fictional presentation when I was reading it, but then it was categorised non-fiction and a memoir. So, it’s a true story. I go with Leno here. Even im reaction small pass my own! :) Make I exaggerate small na…

  13. WOW…WHERE HAS THIS BEEN SINCE???????????

    HOW DID I MISS IT????????????

  14. Seeing this for the first time.
    Estrella, you’re just amazing.
    You just captured a deep experience here, a lot of people can relate.
    You’re doing your bit girl, and heaven sure sees.
    well done!

  15. Why am I seeing this now?This was so evangelical,I love it.

  16. hmm… have you thought of publishing this in a christian journal?

  17. Ayo (@boringblogger)

    Perfecto!

  18. I remember reading this before, when I had just joined NS. The admiration I had for this then hasn’t dropped one bit. You are one bold writer; fresh and inspiring. Well done!

  19. this is the way to go @ estrella.a story written in similar wave length as the story been related.this is an important message to christians as well as those who engage in wild orgies whether sex,wine or weed.he that has ears to hear let him hear.
    i want to agree with @ emmanuella,the narrator here doesnt have a name your story or a friend’s? *Just curious*. Noticed the typo word instead of world.However this is a BRILLIANT WORK!GÖD B£€$ YÖÜ!

  20. @sambright…I’m really psyched that you think its brilliant work…it was written in one of those moments when introspection went a little deeper than i expected.its pure fiction of course but we all know that fiction is art reflecting life so…

    oh yeah! thanks for that typo…noticed it after i had posted it..one love!

  21. i deal with both words often i.e mingling both that is why i was able to point it out.word and world. Again and trully literature is imitation of life.verisimilitude if u like.i like the style i must reiterate.

  22. Everything aside, this has a powerful message and I enjoyed it and learned a bit from it.

  23. ESTRELLA, I have read your stuff on naijastories.com for a while and this is the bombiest of your bombs so far. Good stuff; if so-called holy Joes were like T-Boy, hell would be rapidly depopulated. Never loved religious stuff from Naija writers cos of their consultant-to-God attitude, but YOU ARE AN EXCEPTION.

  24. Nice article estrella…but the phrase ‘that made you want to’ surfaced too many times.

  25. That’s the way of Jesus and that’s why I hate some peoples’ Jesus. “They make one wants to” hate the real Jesus.
    Hence, Mahatma Gandhi said of them, “I like your Jesus, but I hate your ways.”

    Thank you for the preachier.
    Preach Preacher lol

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Great read, lovely narrative, very visual down to the Okra soup dripping down T-boy’s face. 3 things though, (what good would my comment be if it didnt have any improvements?). 1.It loks like your story got rushed a little towards the end. This kind of sssrstory reads better slowly so we the priviledged readers can just keep soaking it in. 2. T-boy’s motives are a bit unclear, did he fancy her for a wife or was it purely evangelic, we need closure there please. 3. I dont readly like the way you swapped style at the end from a sweet love story to a preachy article. i think you could have retained the same style till the end or used the informative/article tone from the beginning with your lead character being an example of Christ like love. That is my take, receive it or reject it. keep writing!

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