My Kind Of Guy

My Kind Of Guy

Let’s see. What do I want in a man? I’ll start with the physical.

He must be tall, at least 6’2”, young, broad shouldered (for all those pillow talks when I will rest my head on him), lean muscled stomach, great legs, clean nice smelling feet and toes. I don’t want a lot of muscles, just medium range will be okay for me.

He must be handsome with lovely dimples when he smiles and the most sinfully long eye lashes shielding penetrating eyes like Michael Scofield’s in Prison Break (what can I say, I’m a series freak and Prison Break is the ace. I have a mega crush on Scofield). He must be clean shaven but with that sexy evening stubble (Yeah, I read too many novels)

Moving on to the intellect. He must be smart, sharp, intelligent and witty with a wicked sense of humor. Vastly knowledgeable in every subject, able to hold his own in any conversation. He must be suave and smooth but honest and straightforward without being short or rude. A civilized and cultured man but with a tinge of the caveman in him. He must have a mind of his own but acknowledge and respect other views. He must be a great believer in education and learning but not confined to the four walls of a classroom. He must read. A LOT!

He has to be unpredictable but utterly dependable. He must be spontaneous and exciting, going to great lengths to surprise and put a smile on my face.

I must be the great and only love of his life. He’s free to love others but must be in love with only me. And must be totally, completely and irrevocably faithful to me. There’s no compromise on that! He must never ever notice any other woman THAT way!

He must be in touch with his feminine side enough to watch Oprah and Pretty Woman (for the 106th time) with me but not lose his masculinity.

He must be passionate and sensitive; sensual and romantic; strong yet tender. A stud in bed who puts my satisfaction before his. An understanding, patient and considerate man. He must love children, be kind to people and care for animals (especially cats!)

He has to be a man of integrity who honors his words and pays his debts. Hardworking and determined, who puts his family (meaning me!) first. He must love challenges and not be averse to taking risks. He must be very successful and wealthy (enough to be listed amongst the first five on Forbes).

He has to love music and must be a wonderful dancer and have a lovely baritone voice (to sing to me). The kind of guy who will prefer to stay home with me than hang out with the boys but encourage me to unwind with my girls.

He must take pride in and applaud my successes and achievements. Boast about me to his friends and family. An arrogant but humble man (makes sense to me).

He must be a great cook, versatile in different cuisines, seeing nothing wrong in donning the apron.

The kind of man who would run into a burning building to save my cat; dine with presidents and go on to take a walk in the rain; quote Shakespeare and sing the words to a nursery rhyme.

My kind of guy must be unique and I know exactly where to find him. He’s in a country called Far Far Away where he lives in a huge castle right next door to Cinderella.



36 thoughts on “My Kind Of Guy” by Lade (@Lade-A)

  1. Ahhh…LWKMD…

    At least you recognised that this type of man is not so common and may even be a fairytale Prince Charming. You see I used may o, you could find this guy if you sharp your eye well well, wash it in holy water 10 tens a day and sleep the rest of the time, hehehe…

    BTW, just saw your tagline, please leave us M&B people, and I will not diss the Godfather of them all. Long live Stephen King.

  2. At some point in the description, I was half expecting to read “he must be nigh-invulnerable, with the power to fly and shoot beams of pure energy from his palms.”

    Thanks for the chuckles.

  3. hahahaha atleast your last paragraph said it all….such a man is in far far away land babe. nice story, made me smile.

  4. I smiled all through the narrative, as i read, i knew you were asking for too too much, even prince charming isn’t that perfect, didn’t you watch Shrek?

  5. Wetin?! I vex all of una? Abeg leave me and my guy o! Lol. Who says i cant find a guy like that? I’m going to take Myne’s advice – shine my eye, wash in holy water & sleep. Hopefully, he’ll wake me up with a kiss. But just in case his winged unicorn (coincidentally named Pegasus) misses the way to my house, my alarm is set, lol.
    Thanks, all.
    @Myne – long live Penny Jordan too (abi she don die?) She’s the only M&B writer i remember.
    @Tola – come to think of it, a mix of Prince Charming and Clark Kent doesnt sound so bad.
    @Beautiful – if man could walk on the moon, the Land of Far Far Away is within reach. And so also my prince. Just a matter of time. . . . . . and sleep. . . . . . . and dream. . . . . .
    @Adeyinka – i also watched Cinderella and Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. Thats why i live in hope . . . . . . and in dreamworld.

  6. **smiles… Well, a little day-dreaming never hurt anybody.

  7. oh my! you are so right. far far away is where to find your mystery guy. nice one!

  8. Ugo Chime (@Flourishing-Florida)

    as i was reading this, i was like ‘dis babe suppose don ready to build herself this man o’, den i saw d ending. lol. very interesting.

  9. Na wa for you o.
    Wont all this qualities be too much for u?
    Please try to be modest if you dont want your guy to come from MARS.lol
    The piece was interesting though.

  10. I was just thinking to myself,if this babe has found this kinda man i go die nah! whew! you nearly had me going there…far far away land is a great place to go when your real man is burping loudly with his pals in the dining as they discuss football but reality is always nicer!lol

    1. Estrella, i agree, reality is nicer. Dreams don’t keep you warm at night. Flesh and blood does, lol.

  11. lol @ all your comments. Lade, what can I say? The holy water bit might help you find the mix between Prince Charming & Superman. I like Estrella’s summation too; “…reality’s always nice”. Hmmm, Lade over to you. Navigated your to the country of Far, Far, Far, Far, Far, Far (you get my drift abi?) away yet? lol
    Nice read!

    1. Abby, hmmn! I’ve not even started my journey yet.
      I’m still looking for the map to Far Far Away, lol.
      I hope Cinderella doesnt succeed in luring him away before i find him.

  12. awesome…You got me going there….Well, time and tide may help in the end…A wonderful one….

    1. lol, thanks. Make that time and tide arrive quick quick o!

  13. At a point it was clear the article was going to end the way it did. Marry a guy whose flaw will inspire you to write articles as good as this.

    1. “Marry a guy whose flaw will inspire
      you to write articles as good as
      this” Now, that is very good advise. Thanks, Jay!

  14. yea,Jay is right.
    as long as you keep churning out your beautiful writings,you can sure have any man you want.lol

  15. hmmn, in that case, i choose . . . . . lol.

  16. ha ha ha ha!!!..Love the end of your story…You definitely were talking about Prince Charming there, definitely Prince Charming…lol

    1. Hahahahaha… also xpecting ‘ able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and vast in atleast ten languages…’
      very funny and well written.I really love this and you got me chuckling and smiling to myself.
      Welldone.

      1. Oh no! I forgot to add those. Lol.
        Thanks, Posh

  17. While reading your write-up I had this feeling that you have been thoroughly ‘Milled & Booned’ so I wasn’t surprise when you confirmed it.By the way,we all need such mental excursion every now and then to help keep sane in an insane world.You are a CERTIFIED writer + ‘punctuator’!Dream on!

    1. High praise indeed, Icon. Thank you.
      This is actually a tongue in cheek description of those old M&B ‘heroes’. Thank God the new ones are more real.

  18. Wow! That is asking for “almost” too much. hehehehe.

    1. Have you forgotten ‘ask and you shall receive’? Lol.
      Thanks, Shai.

  19. I accidentally discovered a small town in Nigeria that’s inhabited by your dream man x 50.If u want details, you know what to do :). this is a beautiful piece.

  20. The man you seek is not really as far far away as you have imagined. in fact he is actually much closer to you than you think

    With the recent advancement in robotics and artificial intelligence, you can get exactly the man you seek with all the features, what’s more, he is also easy to upgrade just in case your preferences change in the future.
    For the right price, we can have him delivered to your doorstep at first light tomorrow or if you prefer we could sneak him into your bed tonight while you’re asleep so that you wake up in his arms.

    Our guarantee: your happily ever after or your money back.

    Now who said dreams do not come true?

  21. Lade,
    Thank God you know where ‘he’ stays, what are you waiting for? Go for ‘him’ na! Oh! Transport fare? *pulling out my wallet and rummaging through. sighs* Send your account number, i’ll see how I can help! Loooollllllzzzzz!!!
    Wake up baby! he exists only in your, yes, dreams!
    Thanks for making me laugh.
    Banky

    1. Em, er . . . does that mean i can get transport money to Dream Land? Lol
      Thanks!

  22. Did I miss a line? Will you be giving him pocket money or what? :)

    1. No, her. The guy does not even know someone is drooling over him like this, so the gal would go meet him like in The Little Mermaid, u know!

  23. wow, u missed out his faith! that means u don’t mind if hi is a Budhist or even an atheist.
    well, someone should pls do well to inform you that you are to be a helpmeet and not the other way round.

  24. Lol @ all.
    Thanks a lot for bursting my ‘dream man’ bubble. I will have you know that i am not discouraged. I know he exists. If not in our galaxy, then in another, light years away. And i will find him. One day . . .
    (Before you ask – Yes, i read too much fantasy, lol)

  25. this is just so funny. You will definitely find him if you switch the “MUST” for “SHOULD”.
    Hehehehe…nice one though.

  26. I’ll say get clay and mould him yourself.

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