It’s classified. Men are bastards.
Dunni just called me. Apparently, Queen Bitch is in town. Yes, Nasir’s girlfriend came in from London yesterday AND she’s going to be in town for a little over a week. Last night, he took her to freaking DC Coast, you know, that expensive joint downtown where they have the meanest shrimp cocktail for miles around.
The cheap bastard! The best he ever thought I deserved was T.G.I.F!! I really do not blame him at all. But damn, I swear Dunni has absolutely no tact at all. I mean, the way she was just reciting all the details with such glee, you would have thought she had been sent by Queen Bitch herself. Rhymes, doesn’t it? Kunbi? Queen Bitch? God, my wit kills me!
Don’t get me wrong, I am so over him. I AM! In fact, I went out with Yomi tonight. Okay, so we technically did not go out. We just hooked up at that club party in Silver Spring. Don’t ask me how I ended up there. Dunni was nagging and Yomi did say it would be good to see me.
So I pulled on the green dress I hadn’t got the chance to wear yet. I matched it up with the tiger heels I got during last weekend’s shopping binge. The combination turned to look fucking fabulous if I do say so myself! Especially when I got down on the dance floor!
He was so feeling that. Yomi, that is. Not Nasir. Though I wish the latter had been there just so I could see his jaw drop while he sees that I’m moving on and living life without him quite happily. Okay, not quite true but hey, I accepted Michael’s offer to see a movie on Sunday. Remember Michael? That cute Persian guy from World Finance class? Yeah, go me!
I really should not have agreed to let Yomi take me home, though. I mean, I had forgotten what an idiot he could be. Check this – so we get to my place. Natalie is sleeping already and her lights are off. So I motion to him to be quiet as we walk down the hallway to my room. I shouldn’t have let him come up either but damn it, it’d been a long minute since an adequate make-out session and Yomi makes for a decent one. Not as good as Nasir, sure, but I digress. Okay, so as I am taking off my shoes, he comes up behind me and his hands start creeping up. That’s the cue to start kissing, obviously…and so we do.
We are on the bed, and all of a sudden, I can’t explain it but I am so nauseous and disgusted at myself and what I am doing. Yomi, of all people? I should know better! He’s been with every Jill, Janet and Hadiza in the MD-DC-VA triangle and even though we go way back to high school, I should know better than to use him as a crutch. Plus, he does have a big mouth, you know. So I pushed him off and asked him to leave. The ensuing conversation still makes me cringe when I think about it.
“I think you should leave,” I told him.
He was still mumbling, you know, still trying to kiss me. I really was going to throw up then so I pushed him more viciously. Too viciously, it turned out. He almost fell off the bed.
“Hey, what the hell?! What’s the deal with this?” He snapped after he recovered.
“You seemed to have turned deaf for a minute. I said I think you should leave!” I told him again as I pulled down my dress. I caught a glimpse of myself in the closet mirror facing my bed and I felt so sick with myself.
“What the fuck?” He swore. “You asked me up! I didn’t invite myself in here. Why are you getting all prissy now like I forced myself on you or something?”
Okay, so, say hello to the Yomi I don’t like! I mean, why couldn’t he just gather his pride and get the fuck out? I said I no do! What again???
I refused to answer him, silently looking at the door. As in, ol’ boy, the exit, in case you can’t remember.
“Man, you think I don’t know what this is about?” He now asked.
The fuck??? I had to look at him then. What was he on about now? He saw my question in my eyes.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” he said. “I know you better than everyone in this joint. We go way back so don’t pull that shit with me.”
I was so going to slap him. “My room-mate is sleeping. Keep it down.”
“Fuck that!” He shouted. “Am I supposed to be the idiot that you will use to fool Nasir that you are over whatever bullshit you two had going down?”
Oh really, now the story of my sad and twisted love life was now the talk of town?
“Yomi, just leave, abeg!” I was trying so hard to remain calm. I desperately needed a smoke now. A headache was coming on.
“Man, just wake up and smell the fucking coffee. You and that dude are not meant to be. The sooner you realize that…”
“I said, get out!” I shouted then. What in the bleeding hell?!
He looked at me and shook his head. “I’m talking to you, Lara, as a friend.”
Yeah, I’m sure. Dude was probably going to go behind my back after this confrontation and laugh about me with the rest of the bloody crew I no longer run with.
“Everyone is talking about you.” He went on. “You think people are stupid? Flitting from one guy to the other? Who are you trying to fool? Him? Us? Yourself?”
“You don’t know anything about me. Fuck you and get out.” I said icily. I really needed a smoke.
God, you won’t believe Yomi. He just would not STOP!
“Smell the fucking coffee. And next time you pull this stunt with me, trust me, it won’t end up like this, bitch.”
Okay, so I started trembling then as I remembered why I’d avoided Yomi for so long before tonight. It was because of this bloody temper and the cruel tongue.
“Try walking and talking at the same time, please!” I told him. I am no Beyonce but that line fit right then, I tell you.
He slammed the door so hard on his way out. So much for not waking Natalie up, that gossip hound sleeps lighter than a dog.
I smoked my way through five cigarettes, so much for giving that up too. And it’s all Nasir’s fault too, I’m sure you can see. But I really don’t care anymore. I am over that, it’s all done. He doesn’t even deserve me anyway. I don’t want him. I don’t need him. He’s utterly replaceable and I’m utterly indifferent. Never mind the sudden stupid tears that seem to be saying otherwise.
You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable